I have not written much here, as to be honest I have so much going on I just can’t find the time to care about writing posts for this blog.
I have my weightloss blog getting updated daily and my gaming blog getting updated semi-regularly, between those two things, I really have no other aspects of my life worth writing about.
I haven’t started looking for work again yet, although will be starting this coming week. I am not comfortable writing about my religious practices. I have no other hobbies as I believe I suck at everything. I was enjoying my photography – but then what’s the point when everyone can get out there with a camera and do their own thing. I would be keen to start dancing or singing, but so far – none of the places I have emailed have bothered to respond to my queries. Just kind of over it. And to be honest I don’t want to just blog about the negative all the time – it gets dull and boring and not worth reading.
I am ok though, just chugging along and focused on losing weight really.
Once again I have been doing some soul searching and trying to figure out wtf I want to do with my life.
Hubby was brutual again in his assessment of my stupidly held views and i completely understand his point of view – but i just don’t know how to change them.
The issue is I believe – strongly and without doubt – that a person must have a career goal – (I blame my mother for that :P) and they must attain that goal. Or they could have kids – which is a valid lifestyle choice and become stay at home mums for at least the first few years of the babies lives…again that is my opinion 🙂
However I fit neither of those boxes. I have no career aspirations – other than the be making enough money to cover our bills and allow me to save for a god damn overseas holiday 🙂 I also have no current desire to procreate – that could of course change at any point.
So my “issue” is that I don’t fit into my own stereotype of what I should be – and it causes me so much mental stress. Hubby was trying to convince me that I don’t need a goal – there are many people who don’t have goals or career aspirations and they do just fine.
So after that whole discussion, I realised that I was doing uni courses and things that don’t interest me – I don’t really want to do programming or marketting or business admin – but I was doing them because they inevitably lead to careers – that I don’t want to do. I am going to look into getting back into German studies.
There are a couple of long term diploma’s etc, however I am going to look into some short courses as well see if i can’t get my German back a little faster than that.
I can certainly pick up a career that involves German easily enough and I love German and all things related so this will be a more positive move for me in the long run.
I also think the reason I am not getting a job is because I told myself I would work at Dad’s shop to give me the chance to a)study – having a day off and b) lose weight. I think until I fulfil both of those things – I am nto going anywhere. Sometimes Will power and sending things into the Aether is NOT a good idea unless you are sure you can still to it.
We have now been sleeping on our bed for almost a week and my back is almost, almost not sore..there is still a slight twinge but it is nothing compared to what it used to be. It took about 3 days for the pain to finally stop – after the first night there was a noticeable difference. So I am feeling so much better!! My biggest issue with the bed is how high from the ground we are sleeping, at a guess it is almost triple the height of our old bed and I have to almost climb into it every night….I love it…except for nights like last night where hubby kept snuggling closer to me and at some point I was about to fall out….it’s a big drop…So comfy though…omg so comfy…new bed is super…love it – it’s probably my best buy of 2011….