Too god damn emotional….

I don’t really remember when my temper started getting the better of me, i don’t remember always feeling the wrath boiling under the surface.  I know it happened some time in my teenage years but I am not sure when.

There was a lot that happened in my 18 – 20 years bracket and I wonder if that whole section of time just fills me with an anger that can’t be sated.  I explode at the drop of a hat and with no warning.  I don’t even have time enough to think about my reactions because by the time i realise I have exploded, I can’t do anything to stop it.

Hubby and I had a very good discussion about this the other night, hence my post to twitter that I am going to get it under control, and not two days later I have already failed and lost my temper 4 times today that I can easily remember.  I chided myself afterwards for getting angry, hence why I actually remember the four things.

Each time, I was angry because of other objects or creatures (human included) getting in the way and causing me extra hassle.  I don’t like extra hassle I have decided. I like things to work, straight away with no complications, I like people listening to me and doing what they are told, I like being in control at all times and I like knowing things will be exactly as I left them when I return.

I have to get this under control.

But now – I have to go and do a workout and perhaps get rid of some of that aggression 🙂  I have done 2 hours of uni work – and achieved very little (I have not done any more on my assignment due in 5 days), and now i just feel I need to move my fat arse off this chair!!!

Advertisements