Last Stretch

OK, so this is my last 3 days at work, and I am starting to feel the stress and uncertainty that is life after this place.  10 years with the one company and leaving without a job to go to is freaking me out.  But I would prefer that to the tears and self loathing I have come to start thinking of as normal.

I have started my degree and to be honest I think I am stupid – my brain is not understanding most of the concepts in the course material, but hubby just tells me I am being silly. Hopefully getting out of this place with allow me to build my confidence back up again.  I think I am just not sure of myself anymore or my researching abilities…fingers crossed I can change that quickly 😀

Thanks to the massive nab stuffups this weekend as well I have no idea how much money we have – I was supposed to buy a treadmill this weekend, however hubby’s pay only went in this morning – should have been Friday – and we still have duplicate amounts showing in our online banking.  So the tready may have to wait until I get my actual payout from work as I can’t figure what money we actually have at the moment.

So will start my exercise regime without the tready, but considering the rain we are having, I really wish I had one.  I don’t want to walk outside in the public domain – poeple can see me…and I don’t want to be seen.  I am so uncomfortable and unfit – I get all red faced and puffy and I don’t want to be out there where people can see me and make fun of me….Bah humbug is all I can say!



4.5 days to go

We had a monthly staff meeting today with the entire floor.  It will be my last one.  I was a little sad if I am honest that I will not be part of this anymore.

On the flip side to that is that I not be part of this anymore 😀

I have 4.5 days to go and I never have to walk into this building ever again 😀  I never have to see an application again and I never ever have to deal with these idiots again 😀

I am not really able to express the excitement I feel at this.

I have started my degree as well,printed out all my notes for the 12 weeks and I will start on them this weekend.  Need to get my computer sorted out and ensure I have everything sorted out for my studies.


homeeeeee….on the rangeeeeeeee

Hubby is in Sydney for a couple of days so I am all alone 😦  He will be back Friday, so not that bad really…it is a quick trip, which is good.

I have confirmed my appointment at the ear specialist for the 8th December at 1.20pm i9n Sunbury.  So have to find the hospital out there, but it is better than having to drive into melbourne 😀  He is the closest specialist in my area, but he also services Melbourne.  Fingers crossed he can get me in for surgery sooner rather than later, but I am not holding my breath to be honest.  I am just so sick of having constant ear pain!!

Next on my list after this is to get my abscyss investigated as it has not healed and it has been well over a year since it was operated on, but I really want my ear sorted out first!

It has also been one week since I resgiend to the day, so I only have 3 more weeks to go!!!!  Cannot express my excitment properly. I am just so happy and feeling so much less stressed in some ways to be getting out of here, the other half of me is having trouble keeping my cool because I know I am getting out of here….just the amount of retardation is increasing (it seems) and I am finding it a real struggle to continue being nice to fucking idiots who I won’t have to work with ever again shortly.

I have an interview at an agency this afternoon, so am just planning on getting my resume out there a little, I am not overly worried about a job right at this point in time, so it is very nice to have the luxury(?) of not being consumed by job issues.

Anyway I suppose I should try and get focused on some work…actually I am training people for the last 3 weeks I have to get them skilled up in some functions as I am one of the last experienced people left in the company…saysa lot when people are fleeing!!

WordPress – why!!! oh WHY!?!?!!?

So trying to convince my mother to use WordPress, and in the process of signing up, the nuffy entered her email addy incorrectly…god forbid she can’t remember hwo to spell her damn surname….i am almost 100% sure she hasn’t been drinking either 😀

So we are waiting for support to get back to us, but 24/7 is taking a little while…yes we are impatient monkies!!

So HURRY UP and changer he email addy please!!!!!!!!!  😀


Feeling a little like the title today.  Can’t seem to get focused at work – my mind keeps wandering and I just feel tired….

You know the whole body tired when you just don’t want to get out of bed and face another day….that’s me right now…

I think my sports bra finally came in, so that is pretty cool, hubby is picking that up at the moment.  I am also looking at second hand treadmills to buy when I get my bonus…some on ebay/tradingpost are under $500 and that would suit me nicely…just have to find the right one 🙂

Another weekend gone

So I am pretty sure my weekend disappeared too quickly…I am not even sure I had one…I feel so tired today.

We had some friends around for dinner on Saturday night and that was awesome, but the rest of the weekend seemed to just fly by.

I am starting off the week exhausted which means I am going to be rat shit by the end of it…

Nothing really to report today, which means drama free = stress free, so I am NOT complaining about that at all 🙂

I do however, need a coffee to start this day!!!

home on the range

Day 2 of hubby being in Sydney and I am over it already….I am bored, soooo bored..

I also had an ADO today which doesn’t help the boredom as I have been home alone all day doing pretty much SFA.  I baked muffins ( I will update my cooking blog with piccies soon – maybe tomorrow to be honest)  and I did a little cleaning up as I have some friends coming over on Friday night and I am not really going to get much of a chance to tidy up everything I want before they get here on friday evening.

I am finding my anxiety is slightly higher today, and can feel my heart beating really fast in my chest….has been like this all day, am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to jump and scream at any second.  I am trying to keep myself calm, but sometimes it is just a little difficult.  I have been handling my PTSD really well the last few months, I have managed to get a focus point happening and so it is not overly intruding in my life, but when hubby is not around I find it really hard.  Catching the train tomorrow is going to be very difficult and indeed the thought has me almost in tears.  I will have one of my best friends there though, so am considering catching the earlier train home in the afternoon as well (my best friend will be on that one as well).  Might be the safest thing to do as our train gets awfully full and there is generally people standing up.

I found an iphone app that counts down as well, so i plugged in my resignation date and i can track it in seconds/minutes/days/hours etc…lol awesome fun 🙂

Really finding it hard to decide what I want to do in a months time….but in the end I think I will just look for work near here and do uni/tafe at night time…I am not too keen on losing too much money to be honest….not when we have just started getting back on track….I will do more thinking about that 😀