Photography

I am still deciding about whether or no to do an actual Diploma or something for this, but so many of the “professionals” don’t bother with it.  I am not sure I can ever get good enough without it.

Having said that the last couple of weeks I have taken some right crackers in my opinion, awesome shots.  No one seems to like them but me, and you know I am sort of ok with that.  I have been known to have…weird…taste 🙂

I took some photos today that I absolutely love, but I can’t post them anywhere as I am considering putting them into a magazine for publication.  I have never actually managed to get my stuff published, I suck, so I am almost tempted to not bother.

GAH!!  LOL Decisions 🙂

 

 

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Busy beavers

I have not written much here, as to be honest I have so much going on I just can’t find the time to care about writing posts for this blog.

I have my weightloss blog getting updated daily and my gaming blog getting updated semi-regularly, between those two things, I really have no other aspects of my life worth writing about.

I haven’t started looking for work again yet, although will be starting this coming week. I am not comfortable writing about my religious practices.  I have no other hobbies as I believe I suck at everything.  I was enjoying my photography – but then what’s the point when everyone can get out there with a camera and do their own thing. I would be keen to start dancing or singing, but so far – none of the places I have emailed have bothered to respond to my queries.  Just kind of over it.  And to be honest I don’t want to just blog about the negative all the time – it gets dull and boring and not worth reading.

I am ok though, just chugging along and focused on losing weight really.

Photography

I am toying with the idea of setting up a very basic website for my photography.  I have realised this last few months that I am not very good at photography that involves people….for some reason I cannot get a clean shot…however with my abstract and  landscape/macro stuff I think I get fucking awesome images…so I will just be focusing on that 🙂  I am not really wanting to make a living out of it, but it would be nice if people actually bought anything I shot…just because they liked it….I am not really sure I want to start paying for some of the fancy sites out there, when in the end – I am not really even going to try and make money out of it….Not sure though….it has just been something in the back of my mind.

At the moment, I am just going through all my images and placing a name tag on them…I know most of the time people can remove it if they are really keen, but it is just nice knowing it is on there and perhaps if people start seeing a name – subconsciously it will be remembered?  LOL….Mind you my images are nothing like the stuff I have seen….there are some brilliant photographers out there, and I mean jaw droppingly fantabulous photos are being produced….but you know – there are some fucking awful ones as well 😀  Each person likes a different style and with how many billion people in the world…potentially at least one person will like my images enough to buy one of them…providing I can get it out there enough 🙂  Well that’s my theory!

I was going through my images from Xmas and am a little disappointed actually as a lot of them are grainy…and I am not sure why…my camera is a pretty good quality one and I am baffled..it isn’t like they are out of focus…or maybe they are and it comes out grainy…i don’t know…but some were crystal clear; so perhaps it was just the focus….anyway I suck at people shots as I try to capture things without waiting the 3 seconds to focus…but the moment could be gone….gAHH!

So, I am currently just adding things to my G+ account, and I may make another photography circle; I deleted the last one as I was so despondent about everything and I figured I would never take another photo again, but Xmas Day and Boxing Day has made me realise how much I enjoy doing it….so I am just going to keep it in the back and let people enjoy or dislike my stuff as they see fit.  The important thing is that “I” get pictures that I like and no -one can take that from me 🙂

I wish I could show that kind of resolve in other areas of my life….like Uni etc….I am also join to call Melbourne Uni/VTAC this week and find out about the STAT test I am supposed to sit…..not that Melbourne Uni is the one I have to go to…however it does have a very awesome Arts program AND it is one of the more easy uni’s to get into….it is also very prestigious; I have to admit I really wouldn’t mind saying I finished my degree there…..is that shallow of me?  perhaps….

Anyway, once I speak to them, then I can decide on the work issue….I will keep pushing something like Coles/Woollies if I can get into Uni as I am then able to go to uni full-time (maybe) and still work enough hours somewhere to bring in enough money for us to live on.  I would rather go to uni full time as it will mean a degree will only take me 3 years as opposed to potentially 10…..We shall see though….I have to make phone calls before anything can move forward – at least I have a plan though.

My plan was also to get into a routine with exercise whilst on holidays and I have failed miserably at that.  I have done nothing….Xmas/NYE was very busy though and I just didn’t get a chance to stop…so the last thing I was thinking about was finding time to exercise…and since then all I have done is sit on my butt!  hahaahh  I need to take this next few weeks and make something of it.  But then the last week up where I am has been above 35 eve3ry day and I can barely function in that heat let alone exercise….today is not actually too bad, so I may find the motivation to do something…even if it just the first half of the kickboxing DVD I have.

Xmas Update :)

I have forgotten to update simply because it is so busy 🙂  hence the daily truth things, I thought it would perhaps keep people learning more about me, however since a couple decided not to post and previous mentioned, I figured I may as well tae this time to do a quick update 🙂

The Mother-in-Law came down on Christmas Eve Day, so I had to get up early, get all the Xmas day shopping done and then drive for 1.2 hours to get M-I-L from train station.  Essentially a wasted day 🙂

Xmas Day, we went to the local botanical gardens for the day to just get out of the house and do something different, we had a late addition of a tribe of nigerian people come as well. IN truth, they are only 5 Nigerians, but with the racket the kids make – I swear it feels like 30 🙂

We had a lovely day, the kids played soccer and the adults caught up.  Here is a youtube clip of my siblings having some dancing and singing. I apologise in advance for the quality I took this one on my iPhone and I have yet to grab the stuff off my proper camera 🙂

Hubby and my mum both ended up with some heat issues – dehydration perhaps…sun stroke…no idea…but Xmas in Melbourne can be a little scorchy.

We came home at about 5pm, and then had one of our friends come round at about 6pm to just chill out and have some drinks with us.

Then Boxing Day every year we head round to a friends place for a BBQ, however we went to bendigo in the morning to get some wedding photos printed out for the M-I-L and then we had a look around and a few bits and pieces.  BBQ was really good we got there at about 2.3pm and we got home at about 7pm, we all then decided to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing!!  We were all pretty wrecked!

The next day we spent driving for 3 hours to drop the m-i-l off at the train station, which was 40 minutes late, and then we had some more friends over for dinner.

Yesterday, hubby went to work and was not feeling well so came home after about 3 hours…he is feeling better now though which is great.

Just typing that post has made me feel exhausted again to be honest!  We still have to find a chance to get over to see my Dad and S-mum for Xmas etc, but in all honesty, we have New years in a couple of days – which we have to start getting organised for, and I just need to get some sleep in!

I hope everyone I know has had a lovely Christmas and all that good stuff.

A good friend recently started doing video diaries instead of blogging, who would be interested in hearing me waffle or do you prefer to read it?  I am contemplating starting to test it out as well, and I have done a few videos here and there…let me know what you think 🙂

I am also trying to get my camera out again, I lost a lot of confidence in myself recently and although I have decided I don’t want to do portraits – I do enjoy taking landscape and animal shots…so I am going to continue with that and perhaps create a section/website dedicated to that so that people can purchase prints maybe?  Still working on the idea as I don’t want to spend money on something that I have no real intention of pursuing as a huge part of my life, but I would like to share images with people so if they want to hang them in their houses/shops/hotels etc they are able to.

Uni – is still a work in progress – I am still deciding what I am going to do- as yet I am undecided and I have to make some phone calls tomorrow about it all.

 

Photography

Was trolling photosig.com and have decided sites like that are almost good but not quite.

While I like the idea of having people offer constructive feedback I am not sure it is possible when you have to upload such small MB size and that everyone is different in ideals, moods etc.

I saw a photo which I thought was very uplifting and someone critiqued it as a sad shot…from that alone – it has made me realise there is no right or wrong way – yes there is more conventional shots or expected imagery, but overall you have to make it express something stunning.

Here is the shot –

http://www.photosig.com/go/photos/view?id=2500575&forward=

Now granted it is a dark and morose shot but that doesn’t convey a sad thing to me, she is stretching her hand out to reach for something greater….well that’s how I saw it originally.

Another example is the shot that I uploaded –

http://www.photosig.com/go/photos/view?id=2500489

I can see how he would consider it drab and boring in the grassy section, however at that size image the whole thing looks horrid – however it is currently my desktop background and the grass, with the fence and rocks on the beach is the bit I like as it is interesting as gives you a lot to look at….However I think you have to be seeing it the same size as I am for it to show the full effect….

How on earth you are supposed to meld all these things into something and get an awesome picture I don’t know yet….

My most popular pictures on deviantart etc are the ones I am most “meh” about….

 

 

Bah humbug

I haven’t really been writing much lately, because I just seem to have nothing worthwhile to say 🙂 The only really noteworthy thing that has happened is the bank stuffed up and sent our renewal visa debit card to our old address, someone nicked it out of the mailbox and then proceeded to use it:

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My husband…the genius…

well…I wasn’t going to call him nasty in the title…but he pretty much laid it out for me tonight and told me to essentially stop being a wanker 🙂

He said some very honest honest things which he thought would hurt my feelings and really they didn’t..but don’t let me lose the pretend high ground ok?  I have nothing else to hold onto after tonight.

It is a very long drive from the inner CBD to our place so it allows a lot of time for discussion, especially in traffic.

The long version is this:

I am afraid I will fail….it doesn’t matter what I want to do, my immediate feeling is I will fail.  I cannot succeed so why bother trying in the first place – it is easier to run myself down and not invest the emotions, money, time etc to any project.  So I have, as most of you would know, start degrees in topics that are completely NOT me simply because – by default – how badly can you fail at something like marketing??  Pretty well – i found out with my first assignment.

I am not someone who wants to spend 4 years writing essays about others people’s ideas or reference their experiences…seems rather dull to me…I don’t want to be marked on what I can prove or disprove in an essay – that shows nothing about my skills as a person or my skills on a computer or with anything else.

So, i have narrowed down my “passions” to a couple of things…photography, baking (pasty/desert chef), an apprenticeship in something along the lines of horticulture/landscaping or acting- something hands on and immediate results are obvious.

Hubby basically said that to do short courses are cheap enough that you could do some, see what the results are and determine if you are still interested after that.  So I have looked into photography to start with and found a 5 week course for $395…nothing fancy but it will give me a great few weeks learning and improving to decide if I have any talent or ability behind a camera.  I am currently throwing around some ideas in my head already for potential coffee table books or clients…but of course….I have to work on that….if you have any feedback about my photography shots now would be the time…they can mostly be found here.

NIDA also has some short courses for acting – expensive ish – but it is NIDA so I am willing to pay the money….Acting was never something I ever really spoke about as a dream because I am so horrible publicly talking/singing etc in front of crowds or people (without large quantitates of alcohol).  But it was always burning in the background.

I am also going to look into dancing as that was always a dream – ask hubby about my dancing movie collection – but I think I am too old…like footballers you get to 25 and they want someone younger…but I am going to find out anyway, and yes…I know I am not exactly the body shape right now…

If I stick to the plan, perhaps by the end of this year I will have done some short courses in all things I really want to do and can decide on a future path for me to take.

Yes this is like the 15 millionth time I have talked about it, but the first time I have ever really done anything about it….I have fixed so many areas of my life this is the one holding me back from really just being completely content.

The short version to sum up:

Hubby says I am an idiot for not believing in myself more, and he has all the faith I need that I can succeed at anything I put my mind to.  So I have to try out things and see what fits….then I can at least make an educated decision about what I enjoy and what I will succeed in.