Anger management

I have been writing very little still as most of it is not publishable in my eyes.

I have been doing badly with the anger management the last few days (perhaps a week). I have been feeling snappy and irritable, I have advised hubby and anyone around me at the time – and I have made a concerted effort to not let it get the better of me as I am at least now aware of it…but it is just so frustrating to be constantly battling with things that are making me stressed enough to feel snappy.

I know my work is a major part in that – as much as I love my father, he has a temper like a wounded bull and I am not used to working in an environment where people yell constantly about everything  – I hated my old job – everyone knows that – but compared to this – it was a relative heaven of peace and quiet.

I have basically been told to work 4 days a week – one day as unpaid – and so that has dropped our income even further below what we need to live.  They basically can’t afford to pay me – and I am by no means earning all that much…this is also weighing on my mind as I seem incapable of finding other employment to bring our income back up to a more managable level.  I seriously just want to cry – but can’t because I want to be strong and put the brave face that everything is ok and that I have it much better than a large percentage of the population….but…let’s face it…this is my reality and I have to deal with the fact that we are sort of screwed financially because I am  unemployable.

We are heading to Tassie tomorrow and I am not sure we should really be going as we are cutting it fine with money, but no refunds are available.  I had forgotten in all my calculations we needed to get the car serviced as it was almost 7k over (especially before travelling around Tassie) and that chopped $550 out of our budget for the trip.

I have asked hubby to write a post about the changes he has seen in me and my anger management so I can have an objective view.  He has sort of agreed but not really yet…so I will have to pin him down on that 😀

I want to get into exercise, but I am so physically and mentally drained from work that I don’t have anything left when I get home. Viscious cycle.

I really can’t be bothered writing any more as it just makes me depressed.  So I am going to stop here before the tears start and can’t be stopped.

Confused, what to do!!!

Here is the situation, there i currently a job at work I am considering applying for, but the history is that I have been passed over everytime for someone else, which makes me not want to apply for it.

The only reason I am really thinking about it, is that I have less than 50 days left before long service leave and so I can apply and get rejected and still be in time to resign with no compromise to my LSL being paid to me. If, on the ridiculous change I get offered the role, I can hang out on a higher pay and have to deal with moving to St Kilda Road and adding an extra (approx) 80 minutes travel time to my already 2.5 hour travel time…

I spoke to one of the girls here, who has advised the new manager is trying to get the role changed and altered, which gives me hope that perhaps it is a good move as she is altering the role more inline with what I want to do in the role.

To be honest, I just don’t know if I can handle another rejection for an interview for this company considering so many other people will be applying for these jobs…but then hey its just a rejection no? It will just be another piece of evidence that this company hates me 😀

I have until COB today as the job application closes today… 😀