You know, sometimes, I wonder what the point is…today is one of those days. Continue reading
but honestly it is the thing which is on my mind as it affects so many other areas of my life in a negative way.
I have sent my resume to two good friends to review and look over and advise me about when they have a chance. One of them is like an english grammar and dictionary book walking and talking – no jokes, she is amazing – i think it is because she works in a library – perhaps she soaks it up through the skin like osmosis. The other owns a small business about improving self for employment (among other things).
They both shot me down, the second one advising me to re-write the entire thing from scratch. So that will be my weekend tomorrow – redoing my resume from start to finish using both of their criticisms to hopefully improve it somewhat.
I have been sick all week with a viral thing, throat infection and sinus pain – so have been feeling wonderful, but this means I am also now 2 days pay short because I have 8 days sick leave paid and I have only 1 left. I am so run down though by the travel and depression that I am getting sicker more often again.
I have done no exercise as I have no motivation – I am so depressed about my life and my lack of, well, anything except a happy marriage, that I am feeling really pessimistic about everything. Yeah I know I have it much better than some people in the world and I am not dealing with death or separation like some of my friends, but that is irrelevant as our own personal pain is always so much greater than what anyone else is going through – whether true or not – that is how we perceive it when we are at the bottom…well it could also just be me 😀
We have to be so careful with money now (again), watch what food we buy, how much petrol we use (hubby got a lift with friends to a BBQ because we couldn’t afford the petrol if I went with him and took our own car – the fact that I am still not 100% was also a life saver), how much I put on the bills each week has to be carefully planned out and in the end – I hate having money troubles. I am not doing well with it. I am not coping with this. I am not able to stop crying because all I am worried about it money and how fucked I am making our lives because I can’t seem to get another job that pays more than a fucking apprentice. Yup, I could earn more as a 4th year apprentice…how the mighty have fallen considering I was earning over 55K a year ago – I am now earning less than 25k…and by less – I mean I am under 22k but was trying to make it sound better……
Yeah that sounds even worse when I type it like that actually……I am going to have more ice-cream……
I haven’t really been writing much lately, because I just seem to have nothing worthwhile to say 🙂 The only really noteworthy thing that has happened is the bank stuffed up and sent our renewal visa debit card to our old address, someone nicked it out of the mailbox and then proceeded to use it:
Running late again this week. I am going to ask my boss to just put this down as a bad one. I have not been sleeping well since being back from Sydney and I am not handling that very well.
We did buy a new bed, just waiting for that to arrive 🙂 10 years on the same futon mattress is just horrid! I hope it gets here soon – I can’t wait to experience a good nights sleep without pain whenever I move during the night!
On the work front – I am really worried about my dad. I really think he is just too old to be doing this kind of physical labour, but neither him or mum will listen to me about sorting out their financial problems by selling everything and paying what needs to be paid. I know it sounds horrible but when you keep adding to your debt instead of reducing it – at some point it screws with you.
I just don’t want to see my dad hurt himself or go to an early grave because money was more important to him and mum than his well being and life….
They just don’t get it though….
Hubby and I are now in a hugely wonderful financial position! Thanks to the refinance! I am actually going to start putting money into savings in a months time, we are paying off the bed before we can save 🙂
then next year we are going to Scotland even if I have to drug him to do it!! Hehe even just 3 weeks would be super awesome! That’s my plan anyway 🙂 he could just karate chop me I suppose, but he loves me and wants to see me happy in scotland 😀
Anyway my train stop is coming up, so time for me to stop waffling and get moving!
TGIF is my only thought right now!!
I had been waiting for my mum to post before I did and it has been driving me mental!!! I am going to the airport tonight to finally pick up the new family members!!!
They are landing pretty late tonight so likely I will not be out of bed until midday tomorrow! I am excited and nervous and happy and all the other things, I am glad this is finally over for mum and I hope they are happy together for a very long time. Here’s to having more kids!!
Our car loans are finally paid off as well!!! We sent the money over on Tuesday! So no more direct debits etc and I got paid yesterday and we still had money in the bank and our wallets!! Couldn’t believe it!! Yay!!!! Financially normal again!!
More excitement, a friend of ours has come back to australia after about 5 years. Shame they are in tassie but I am looking forward to building that friendship up again!
I opened my first weeks work on Monday and you know what I had to do….create an online persona….2 of my assignments require an ongoing web presence….fake one of course – or whatever you want really…so I have created a completely serparate WP blog, with twitter, facebook and Deviantart id….I also have to everntually create delicious as well – not that I am a fan of world wide bookmarks…but hey it must be done 🙂
Have sent in all our paperwork for the refinance/debt consolidation…fingers are so deeply crossed I am scraping bone.
This will really help us out and I am just not able to express how good it will be if it goes through!!
My ear is healing well, and I think the surgery was a success, it sounds like I am underwater (which is better than hearing nothing) and it is damn itchy!!! I have never really been great with dealing with itchy wounds….so this is nuts!! I just want to shove a fork in there and scratch around for a little while!!! Only 2 more weeks before the sponge gets removed, so I am hopeful that itching will stop soon.