JUST CANT GET A BREAK

So annoyed right now, applied for a junior underwriter position – decided to call now to confirm they received my application, they had sort of…it wasn’t there but was apparently…

THEN

they want someone with commercial insurance experience….WELL REALLY – WHY NOT PUT THAT IN THE FUCKING ADVERT YOU DUMBARSES!!!!

Why am I unemployed when I am so much better then these arses out there?  news.com.au and theage.com.au have both has typing errors in their news articles recently which annoys me….I know I can’t type and i post with errors – but I am not a journalist and generally I am ranting and i don’t get paid to make sure I can proofread things correctly!

I also am able to type up appropriate job adverts so as to not waste 2 hours of my night retyping a god damn resume to be appropriate to the fucking position.  Nor am I incapable of learning how commercial insurance works vs personal….insurance is not that different across areas..no it really isn’t…

So over it right now!

On a upbeat note – i am getting a new domain tomorrow for my weightloss blog and perhaps my gaming blog.  I may make my personal blog part of my weightloss blog although I think that can be boring for some people….not sure yet….Either way I am excited about spending the weekend updating my blogs and just having a play.

 

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Anger management

I have been writing very little still as most of it is not publishable in my eyes.

I have been doing badly with the anger management the last few days (perhaps a week). I have been feeling snappy and irritable, I have advised hubby and anyone around me at the time – and I have made a concerted effort to not let it get the better of me as I am at least now aware of it…but it is just so frustrating to be constantly battling with things that are making me stressed enough to feel snappy.

I know my work is a major part in that – as much as I love my father, he has a temper like a wounded bull and I am not used to working in an environment where people yell constantly about everything  – I hated my old job – everyone knows that – but compared to this – it was a relative heaven of peace and quiet.

I have basically been told to work 4 days a week – one day as unpaid – and so that has dropped our income even further below what we need to live.  They basically can’t afford to pay me – and I am by no means earning all that much…this is also weighing on my mind as I seem incapable of finding other employment to bring our income back up to a more managable level.  I seriously just want to cry – but can’t because I want to be strong and put the brave face that everything is ok and that I have it much better than a large percentage of the population….but…let’s face it…this is my reality and I have to deal with the fact that we are sort of screwed financially because I am  unemployable.

We are heading to Tassie tomorrow and I am not sure we should really be going as we are cutting it fine with money, but no refunds are available.  I had forgotten in all my calculations we needed to get the car serviced as it was almost 7k over (especially before travelling around Tassie) and that chopped $550 out of our budget for the trip.

I have asked hubby to write a post about the changes he has seen in me and my anger management so I can have an objective view.  He has sort of agreed but not really yet…so I will have to pin him down on that 😀

I want to get into exercise, but I am so physically and mentally drained from work that I don’t have anything left when I get home. Viscious cycle.

I really can’t be bothered writing any more as it just makes me depressed.  So I am going to stop here before the tears start and can’t be stopped.

How do we keep going?

I am really, really deflated.  I basically have 1 month to find a job as we are now out of funds.  The bills all just got pulled so we have a window of a month before things are going to start bouncing.

Centrelink can’t help because hubby earns to much, I am thinking about pulling out the superannuation papers and seeing if I can claim financial hardship, will do that today.  I am also going to help my dad at his shop with some paperwork.  My step mum is not well at the moment and his office assustant is having trouble keeping up with all the interruptions.  So he will be paying me as well, so fingers crossed I can do that until I have a job to go to, and I don’t know how much he will be paying me.

I am going to consider getting my RSA and RCG in the next couple of weeks…only costs about 100 bucks but that will open up more opportunities for employment in pubs/casino etc.

I am so highly stressed at the moment I really just can’t describe it.  I just want a job.  I did not think trying to get one would prove to be so difficult.  Today I will start applying for jobs in the insurance industry as well, it was always my last resort and one i did not want to do.  I really don’t want to!

I hate myself for doing this to my life and to my hubby. I was stupid to think that my experience and skills would count for anything.  I was so dumb to think that I could even get temp work.  I am just proving consistently how stupid I am.

Bleurgh

Had another interview today at an agency, they may be sending me for an interview this week…I am waiting to hear – it is a part time job in Collins street somewhere, 3 days a week.  Pay isn’t too bad and anything has got tbe better than nothing.

I am exhausted though – driving into the city for a 25 minute appointment really annoys me to be honest.  I get so tired driving for just over 2 hours.  Anyway they signed me up for temp work as well, let’s hope someone gets me some work soon…I am beginning to lose the plot 😀 hehe

I need to get stuck into my study, I am just a week behind in actual studying…I have read through all the notes but I have not done any of the practical exercises etc….which requires looking up information etc. That will be my focus this week aside from interviews.

I just booked my exam, in Bendigo – on the 28th Feb ARRGGHH!!!!!!  Just over a month to get everything into my head….some serious studying needs to occur!!!

Better go – I have heaps to do this afternoon!!

 

homeeeeee….on the rangeeeeeeee

Hubby is in Sydney for a couple of days so I am all alone 😦  He will be back Friday, so not that bad really…it is a quick trip, which is good.

I have confirmed my appointment at the ear specialist for the 8th December at 1.20pm i9n Sunbury.  So have to find the hospital out there, but it is better than having to drive into melbourne 😀  He is the closest specialist in my area, but he also services Melbourne.  Fingers crossed he can get me in for surgery sooner rather than later, but I am not holding my breath to be honest.  I am just so sick of having constant ear pain!!

Next on my list after this is to get my abscyss investigated as it has not healed and it has been well over a year since it was operated on, but I really want my ear sorted out first!

It has also been one week since I resgiend to the day, so I only have 3 more weeks to go!!!!  Cannot express my excitment properly. I am just so happy and feeling so much less stressed in some ways to be getting out of here, the other half of me is having trouble keeping my cool because I know I am getting out of here….just the amount of retardation is increasing (it seems) and I am finding it a real struggle to continue being nice to fucking idiots who I won’t have to work with ever again shortly.

I have an interview at an agency this afternoon, so am just planning on getting my resume out there a little, I am not overly worried about a job right at this point in time, so it is very nice to have the luxury(?) of not being consumed by job issues.

Anyway I suppose I should try and get focused on some work…actually I am training people for the last 3 weeks I have to get them skilled up in some functions as I am one of the last experienced people left in the company…saysa lot when people are fleeing!!

Time for a quick update…so much has been going on

Firstly, I got really sick over the weekend and went to work on Monday, altough I probably shouldn’t have.  i was running a fever and felt sore all over…suffice it to say I have spent the last 2 days sleeping and trying to recover….can’t seem to shake this headache though…probably have not been drinking enough water in all honesty.

Secondly, I missed out on the L and D role – there was a stronger candidate, I was unable to receive any feedback as I was very strong in my interview and there was nothing they could fault (again).  However the lady I spoke to today advised there is a second position and she is going to speak to the manager about it and see if they want me to slot into that role…I am waiting on a call back about that.

Thirdly, hubby came home and said he wanted to start playing WoW again, that someone got him all interested.  So we have taken it back up in a casual capacity – ie…no raiding at this stage aside from random pugging, with that in mind I have started up my WoW blog again so I don’t drown this one with crap.  http://azerothianlife.wordpress.com  is the link for that 🙂  Yes I have changed it again.  New times need new blogs if you ask me 😀

Fourthly (is that even a word) someone who was very dear to me has gotten back in contact with me and I am confused and scared, so I am just taking that one easy and seeing where it leads. Yes I find it hard to move past being hurt…so sue me….I am just being careful not to get attached and emotionally involved at this stage 😀 TRYING anyway!!

That is all for the minute 😀