Time for a quick update…so much has been going on

Firstly, I got really sick over the weekend and went to work on Monday, altough I probably shouldn’t have.  i was running a fever and felt sore all over…suffice it to say I have spent the last 2 days sleeping and trying to recover….can’t seem to shake this headache though…probably have not been drinking enough water in all honesty.

Secondly, I missed out on the L and D role – there was a stronger candidate, I was unable to receive any feedback as I was very strong in my interview and there was nothing they could fault (again).  However the lady I spoke to today advised there is a second position and she is going to speak to the manager about it and see if they want me to slot into that role…I am waiting on a call back about that.

Thirdly, hubby came home and said he wanted to start playing WoW again, that someone got him all interested.  So we have taken it back up in a casual capacity – ie…no raiding at this stage aside from random pugging, with that in mind I have started up my WoW blog again so I don’t drown this one with crap.  http://azerothianlife.wordpress.com  is the link for that 🙂  Yes I have changed it again.  New times need new blogs if you ask me 😀

Fourthly (is that even a word) someone who was very dear to me has gotten back in contact with me and I am confused and scared, so I am just taking that one easy and seeing where it leads. Yes I find it hard to move past being hurt…so sue me….I am just being careful not to get attached and emotionally involved at this stage 😀 TRYING anyway!!

That is all for the minute 😀

Pink room :D

We started cleaning out the junk room!!!

I want to start painting our miniatures again and we need the room cleaned out for our wargaming table to be in there, so we made a great start on it today, I would say 90% done! Just a couple more boxes and we will be able to fit the table in and therefore clean out the garage to put the cars in and avoid frost!

Found some bits and pieces that I have placed around the house etc.  Need to do some more washing today though and some dusting etc 😦 YUCK to housework!

Kinglsayers

My old guild finally killed Arthas for anyone who is interested 😀

Grats to them!!

I have been keeping in contact with a couple of people from the guild, and I do miss them so much, but I am still very bitter about what happened with it all, so I haven’t really wanted to talk about it all that much.

I’ll be honest I think that is why I quit WoW in the end.  I just lost my interest in a game where you can spend so much time looking out for people, motivating, helping, and then get so royally fucked by them….yeah still bitter…

But I am so happy for the guild to have killed the end boss before new content, and they can go into the xpac with a solid team and do some damage in there.  I am happy for them!

Almost forgot

I have not been playing Wow for however long, and I am suffering withdrawals, I have been having vivid dreams about areas in the game that I would love to just run around in again and I have been missing playing.

I get fiddly at about 7pm as I have for the last 5 years been online to raid and am not doing that anymore, almost feels like I have lost a limb.

I do miss it, but I do enjoy this new found time I have to be doing things both in and out of the house 😀

Goodbye my love

I have decided to quit my gaming obsession and have cancelled my WoW subscription.

This week I have had more health problems just magically appear and it has scared me.  I am really scared that I am getting tot he point that I will not be able to repair the damage.  So I am going to be focused on getting myhealth fixed.

Hubby and i are taking up aikido next fortnight and we will be doing laps in the local footy oval on the off nights, I may even investigate doing belly dancing on the weekend as well if I can find a weekly class.  of course all of that combined with our better eating (which we are already doing – just need to improve it) means I can get my metabolism working better, my PCOS may start to get sorted, I won’t get diabetes and I may actually have my open wounds start to heal…..

I will be passwording my health posts so that if people want to see my fat pictures along with all my other information they can ask for the password and I don’t have to subject people to it at random 😀

Wish me luck for my gaming addiction,  i may need to take up smoking again in exchange!!!  LOL (joking joking)

betrayal, stings like a bee..no – a wasp

I have been betrayed by people I have counted as friends before, I am sure every single person has, I think it is part of human nature…

However it has just happpened to me, again, friends names have been mentioned to me in relation to backstabbing me and saying bad things…I don’t believe all the names mentioned as I trust them to have been honest with me and actually my friends…and I do hope that my trust has not been broken.

I have my thoughts on who is starting this crap up and perpetuating it, but as I have no real evidence or even motive to back that up I am just keeping silent.  I am sad though as I have now stepped down from a role I enjoy in game…

On top of my current feelings and emotional sensitivity, this has been a big blow to my confidence, and feeling of self worth.

Yes I need to get outof my head (thanks for the advice!!), I am just not sure how to do that yet since I am still so caught up in this latest betrayal…A week should be all the recovery time I need, after that I will be able to get back into everything.

POsting this here as I cannot post it to my wow blog, so sorry for the seemingly randomness of this post.

Something was said to me tonight, which got me really annoyed, so annoyed in fact I nearly told everyone to go and shove it, instead poor spankypants copped it all. Which I feel awful about now as it was not his fault, but well he just happened to whisper me when I was away from my computer throwing a tanty. I know my guild is more than just one person, and I have a group of close friends in the guild, let’s say 5 people, who I would do anything for, and their opinion matters to me more than anyone else in the game, and indeed it has mattered to me since I met them all.

But when someone makes an offhand comment about how none of the work I have done as raid leader means anything, I get a little miffed. I guess i find it ironic as I was reading this post today, a fairly simple post about saying thank you to your raid leader. http://wtbrage.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/raid-leading-appreciation/ Anyway, I am annoyed that I even bother trying to make people happy and trying to make raids go ahead and trying to make them enjoyable…from now on I will just shut my fucking mouth, but you know what…I am so tempted to just pull out the nasty hat and say, well since I am not any good as raid leader – how about the new and improved guild leader and just start laying down the law and booting people when i don’t think they can play.

I am also annoyed with myself that I even got annoyed in the first place, I am sure it was just a comment and had nothing behind it…but I am really getting sick of people NOT thinking about the person behind the avatar…yes I do have feelings and yes I am a person….last time I checked I even had a pulse…. No doubt someone will take offence at this post, and you know what the state I am in now I don’t really care. But just a point to note a little bit of appreciation can go a long way to helping a guild leader feel valued and NOT like they are trying to keep a guild together for no reason. Yes it really is a thankless task and I am appalled that less than half a guild take the time to care and be involved and give a shit about the guild as a whole.

I have been raid leading, in this guild for 2 years, others have helped out and stepped up and we have always shared the job. but…tonight…..fuck them…fuck them all if they think they can treat me like this anymore…I am done.  I am sick of the fucking bullshite, sick of the drama, sick of being told I am shite and not as good as others and fuck them…..I am done.

Another day another dollar

Had a pretty good weekend, went out on Sunday to a BBQ for D and was quite enjoyable. I didn’t know anyone so I felt like a 3rd wheel, but made a freidn and we sat and chatted most of the afternoon. It was a nice afternoon out of the house.

Saturday, D went out with the boys and I stayed home and played WoW while drinking bottle of wine.

I have been playing WoW a little more lately, since I have some time on my hands…not sure where the time has come from, but I am not complaining. I have been managing to get out of work before 6pm and providing the trains don’t keep me waiting for 2 hours like the other night, I am getting home at a reasonable hour..and the phone has not run with fanmily members needing my help! Which is always good!

I have no walked this week as I forgot to take myanitbitoics and have been in severe pain. So I made sure to take them yeserday and need to keep on taking them so I can walk again this week.

I really want to take up belly dancing again as well, but finding a place to do it is the difficulty.

Nothing much has been going on, we have finally gotten out of our financial issues, we are essentially debt free aside from the mortgage and car. Any attempt at saving money was gone this fortnigth as we had to pay a fair amount of money to the vet to keept Narvi alive.

Her kittens are doing relaly well, they are starting to walk a little bit, we took them out of the bos last night and just let them walk around the lounge, they kind of stumbled a fair bit, but it was cute. They have also finally started feeding from the bottle, which is a good sign her milk is finally drying up. We need to feed them four times a day, so i think the poor little guys will be starving when we get home. Thankfully I am on holidays in 8 working days and so can be home to make sure they are getting feed as needed. Have to take her to vet this week, so have the stitches removed as well then we shodul be on th ehome stretch – may as well get her vaccinated as well while we are there. Might get the dogs done next fortnight actually, i think they are both due.

I forgot to try and get piccies this weekend. Will try and do it this week!

My medical terminolgy course ends this week, well this is the last actual week of lecture, next week is the anatomical museum and certificates. So will start investigating the insurance course and applying for jobs in underwriting….tempted to apply to the hundreds of jobs in NZ to be honest 😀 but i think D would kill me…must remember to ask him 😀

All in all feeling much better about everything this week than I have for a while.

long time no see

Hey everyone, i have been reading ur posts and keeping updated, i justhavent had much time to respond or post myself, so i thought i would take the time and fill you all in on mylife so far!! (minxee – stealing ur layout for this one 🙂 hehehe)

Movies

Have seen so many recently, and they have all been excellent 😀  Cant think if anymore but i know there is 🙂
Harry Potter – was slightly disappointed with the movie as they left so much out, but meh was still Harry
Tranformers – OMFG – the best movie EVER created
Simpsons – Meh, kinf of like watching an episode on TV, but was funny
Shrek – pissed myself laughing the whole way through it – thought it was the best
Pirates – mmm thought it was good, and who wouldnt when youc an perv at Orlando for most of it 🙂

Witchy
Been chugging along, spending time with the coven, sabbats have been mind blowing experiences and the full moons have been great fun. Too much of my time has been taken up with organising the wiccan conference (although I have been slack with that as well).

Life
Has sucked beyond compare!!  I have been on leave from work for 3 weeks due to a mid life crisis, post traumatic stress and severe depression and slight agorophobia, all brought on by my 28th birthday and “Saturn Return” bringing issues to the surface that i had never faced and now must be reoslved. I know i sound like a mental case, and perhaps I am, but I am preferring to think of it as a transition phase in my life.  I do feel like crap and i don’t really see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I am sure it will come. I have been through worse.  I am currently trying to organise to work from home, might help me get back into the swing of things.  But not sure how that is going to pan out yet, still waiting to hear from the boss.

Truth
I was raped. A long time ago and i blocked it out, I never admitted to myself it happened and therefore it didn’t happen. I have to admit it happened now, and talk about it, but I still don’t feel i can.  Hence my hope that if i say it on here for the world to see, then I will know I have made a step towards integrating it into my life.  The issue is now dealing with the after effects, the lack of emotional attachment to anyone or anything, the need for solitude, the want of a support network, etc etcetc.

There I said it.  OMG

*having a slight freak out*

World of Warcraft
Sill obsessed with WoW and a new expansion is coming out for it! WOOT! Level cap will now be 80 🙂  tis so awesome!!  still playing most nights, it gives my mind a chance to chill out and not think about anything 🙂  Have moved my main to Dath, playig with more aussies makes it a little easier to get groups in my prime time 🙂

Anyway thanks for listening to my rant 🙂

Chat to you all soon