Need to get it out of my head

I have been drowning in the negatives lately and I really feel I just need to vent and let it out.  As blogging has always been an outlet for me here goes.

My step-mum is having another nervous breakdown and has left the business is a right mess again – 2 years after the first one.  Yes in Jan I will have been here 2 years….god help me!!

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What a fucking shitty week…

Not for me, but for my friends in Sydney…There seems to be far too much hurt happening and there is nothing I can do about it to help them except offer support via email and phone etc.

One of my besties in Sydney let her mum just over 4 months ago, now her step dad has just passed as well due to cancer.  Her brothers have now lost both parents within such a short period and I just have no words to express my sorrow.

The painter at work lost his dad 6 months ago, and 2 weeks ago, lost his mum as well.  He also lost a brother last year.

Another friend in sydney lost her sister earlier this year and has just announced she and her husband of 12 years are separating due to differences. They have 2 children and she is moving back to her parents place in another state.

Another friend in Sydney has advised she s seeking fertility advice as she and her husband are having issues falling pregnant.

And to keep it going, another friend in Sydney has just lost his mother – 2 weeks ago and that is obviously still very fresh for him.

I lost someone this year that wasn’t overly close to me on a personal level, but on a religious level she meant a great deal to me as she was the introduction to the path I now follow.

These last few months have been horrible for all my friends and I just cannot understand how it can happen to so many people at once.  When summed up like this I just feel so completely horrible that I am not on the phone with them and attempting to make them feel better, but what do you say to someone who is dealing with this kind of raw emotional output.

I just wish I was closer to these people, both territorially and emotionally so the support I offer could be useful….

Death and opening doors

I was notified last night someone from my past, that meant a lot to me, passed away 2 days ago.  her lungs collapsed in hospital, she was a very sick lady, even when I knew her, so it doesn’t really come as a shock per se, but it is still a shock in a sense…

We will never have the chance to mend the breach she created, not that I believe she would have ever apologised but whilst she was alive the chance was perhaps always there.

Anyway I am glad she is no longer suffering and I wish her well into the Summerlands.

From her passing an old friend has gotten in contact with me via Facebook.  I posted on my friends wall and this other person saw it and messaged me.  She was a long time friend of my dead friend and they also had a massive falling out.  We both have mutual scars but we got along really well and I am happy to have had some contact with her.

I will be calling her this afternoon to have a quick catch up and see how she is doing, she is devastated by the loss, and I am not sure how well she will cope with it, she was always a little exuberant 😀  Losing someone so dear to her, will not go down well with her.

The world is funny how it works.

I am hoping the Sydney crew keep me in the loop about the funeral arrangements, not that I have intentions to go, but I would like to light a candle for her in remembrance.  She was a mentor to me in my youth and she taught me may valuable lessons about betrayal, friendship and trust – that should always be remembered.