I have been writing very little still as most of it is not publishable in my eyes.
I have been doing badly with the anger management the last few days (perhaps a week). I have been feeling snappy and irritable, I have advised hubby and anyone around me at the time – and I have made a concerted effort to not let it get the better of me as I am at least now aware of it…but it is just so frustrating to be constantly battling with things that are making me stressed enough to feel snappy.
I know my work is a major part in that – as much as I love my father, he has a temper like a wounded bull and I am not used to working in an environment where people yell constantly about everything – I hated my old job – everyone knows that – but compared to this – it was a relative heaven of peace and quiet.
I have basically been told to work 4 days a week – one day as unpaid – and so that has dropped our income even further below what we need to live. They basically can’t afford to pay me – and I am by no means earning all that much…this is also weighing on my mind as I seem incapable of finding other employment to bring our income back up to a more managable level. I seriously just want to cry – but can’t because I want to be strong and put the brave face that everything is ok and that I have it much better than a large percentage of the population….but…let’s face it…this is my reality and I have to deal with the fact that we are sort of screwed financially because I am unemployable.
We are heading to Tassie tomorrow and I am not sure we should really be going as we are cutting it fine with money, but no refunds are available. I had forgotten in all my calculations we needed to get the car serviced as it was almost 7k over (especially before travelling around Tassie) and that chopped $550 out of our budget for the trip.
I have asked hubby to write a post about the changes he has seen in me and my anger management so I can have an objective view. He has sort of agreed but not really yet…so I will have to pin him down on that 😀
I want to get into exercise, but I am so physically and mentally drained from work that I don’t have anything left when I get home. Viscious cycle.
I really can’t be bothered writing any more as it just makes me depressed. So I am going to stop here before the tears start and can’t be stopped.