Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

I wish I had gone to Uni instead of working when I left high school.  I got into an Arts degree at the local uni – and I should have done it.  I didn’t – i deferred for a year and instead never went back – I ended up in Sydney.

My life would be very different today – and that is a choice i made – however I wonder had I gone to uni, would I have still gone to Sydney, would I have gotten a career, would I be living in germany now, would I still have met my hubby….which parts of my life are the parts that were going to happen no matter what circumstances altered it?  I will never know but it is something I wonder at all the time.

Aside from the meeting my hubby part, I could quite happily change all the rest as long as it was a better life :p hAHAHAH

Soon to be rectified by having just applied to uni – fingers crossed!

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I wish I hadn’t moved back to Melbourne 6 years ago 🙂

We both made a split decision because we had been evicted from our place and the decision was to come back here, instead I wish I had asked friends if they could put us up until we had found a new place, I wish we had stayed at caravan park until we got a new place – anything….

Not to say our time here hasn’t been important – it has – I was here to support my mum through a really tough 18 months, I was back in Victoria to get training in paganism, I was here to remember why I can’t stand being this close to some parts of our families, I was here as it got us into the housing market, I was here to learn that not all expectations of families can be lived up to,  I was here for our wedding and and many other things no doubt….

I would move back to Sydney tomorrow if we could afford it and the housing costs…..

Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

This is an interesting one and I really don’t know where to start; so let’s go with the easy one of Alcohol.

I like alcohol.  I like the tipsy feeling you get when everything is funny and you feel wobbly and the world is fun.  Beyond that into sickness land is not nice – but I know my limits and I avoid that place 🙂  I am a fairly happy drunk – I apparently I tell everyone I love them.  I haven’t been tipsy in a long while actually which is a shame.  I don’t really have drinking friends that just play games and eat and laugh when we get drunk….I would like to add some of those friends to our list.

I like my Kahlua with Milk, my Vodka with Coke, my grasshopper pie with Creme de menthe/creme de cacao blanc, I like my midori with lemonade, my UDL with raspberry  and my Brown Brothers Cienna nicely chilled in a full glass.

I don’t drink all that much to be honest, weekends mainly and big occasions like bdays and parties etc when I am not driving 🙂  Like all things moderation is the key and don’t be retarded when drinking….no matter how drunk I am I still don’t lose my brain power…i certainly couldn’t drive but I am definitely aware of not dropping glasses or burning people with cigarettes (when I used to smoke)…and I am well aware of the need to move slowly when drunk to avoid falling over or looking like an ass 🙂

I also take the drink driving thing seriously – I get a lot of shit about it – but it is my choice – if I know I am going to drive I will generally not drink anything at all…I have relaxed that a little bit and providing I know I am not going to be driving for at least 3 hours I may have one drink as long as I am eating at the same time.  I don’t like to risk my senses being impaired – I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror if I hurt or killed someone because my reflexes were affected.  I remember watching a documentary years ago where they tested reflexes and even after one drink there is a drop in response time…from memory it wasn’t a huge drop on average – but enough to be noticed….it has freaked me out ever since.  I have always been a “what if” person though.

Onto drugs….

Drugs are bad mm’kay??

Speaking from as an ex-pot addict – just get off them.  Whatever drugs you are doing are not good for you – or your life.  There is never ever ever ever going to be a reason you need to be taking them.  They are great for escaping reality and being able to hide behind what is going on – but in the end you are better off working through the shit, dealing with your fucked up head, and making our life something worth living.  I feel awful for people that are on drugs and that use them as a crutch and feel they have no other way to move through their days – it is s hame they are damaging their bodies and minds that way instead of finding other outlets for their pain/fear/etc.  Take up painting, knitting, massage, aromatherapy, photography, karate – anything.  The money you spend on drugs could be used to fund other outlets and would be a much better use of your time and energy.

I will never go back to drugs again and I know I have never done anything harder so how would i know – but I had a lot of friends over the years who were and I would see them coming down and going back up and riding the roller coaster and to put it bluntly – they were cunts.  They were irrational, unhappy, unrealistic and mostly just horrible to be around.  They think they are wonderful….and I am sure all their drug taking friends thought they were wonderful as well….they aren’t..and when you have sober eyes you can see that more clearly.

Drugs should be wiped off this planet!


Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

I am going to do this in 2 sections…as they are pretty short and sweet – lets start with the easy one first…Politics…..

This will horrify my friends that are very politically motivated and interested…but I have absolutely nothing – and I mean nothing to say that is nice about politics. I change the channel when things come on the TV, I barely know who our prime minister is most of the time, I couldnt tell you when the last election was – only that it was the first one I have ever actually turned up to since being 18 and allowed to.

I think politicians are below the scum of the earth and I have no interest in spending the night talking with friends about people who seem to make everyone so angry….they lie, they cheat, they keep secrets, they push people out of power by stabbing them in the back, they do all manner of things except what we believe to be important. I dont understand why or how they get into power and I dont particularly care – no one seems willing to actually vote for someone different and I dont then understand why so many people bitch and whinge about the ones who get in.

I find nothing so dull, and I have real trouble feigning interest when we meet up with friends and politics comes up as a discussion point….I really cannot express in print how much I dislike the entire idea of it all. My theory still stands that someone who is not mental should take over the entire world and then make the rules and end all the shite going on. We are one planet and yet we all somehow believe we are above everyone else….its a sad world we live in.

So…then after my rant – religion 🙂

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Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I would love to be able to write something like “War and Peace” changed my views or 1984, or Animal Farm, or War of the Worlds or David Copperfield…you know…ANYTHING that sounded suitably impressive to the scholarly people in the world (and amongst my friends) but if I am being honest the book that has changed my world view more than anything has been the Celestine prophecy (and it’s sequels).

I read them years ago, when I was still in high school and D’s mother showed it to me.  It was a massive influence on my faith and my religious path that I would later walk, and I still hold its ideals very close to my heart.

Since reading those books, I have also delved a little into Carl Jung and his ideas on Synchronicity and all the concepts relevant to that.  It has been such a long time since I read those books though, I am tempted to grab them out and give them another read and see if they still affect me given what I have experience and understand today.