Too much to hope for I guess

So back from my Dr appointment and yes, looks like surgery is back on the
cards once again. I now have a referral to surgeon which will hopefully
get me into surgery faster than if I just got a referral to the hospital.

Either way, I now have 2 fistualas – for the medically inclined – which
neither of them are healing. I am now on a 3 month course of antibiotics,
and with my pre-diabetes my body doesn’t heal as well as it should.

A few months ago I was told I needed to lose weight before my PCOS and
relevant problems associated with that made it harder for me…and I think
it has happened. I am unable to heal my body and I am unable to stop the
problems occuring. My body is broken and I need to fix it = UK 2011.

I don’t want to have surgery again – the idea of my wound being packed with
that mother fucking keltastat turns my insides out and makes me want to
scream – I can’t stop crying at the thought of that being done again. I
have never experienced pain like it and I certainly don’t want to
experience for two seperate wounds. I am not going to survive this next lot
of surgery mentally intact if that is required.

I have to contact this surgeon now and find out when he has appointments
available and hos much this is going to cost me….I have my $200
ultrasound next week as well and my appointment with my gyno the week after
– so i think the surgeon will have to wait until the next fortnight. I just
can’t afford all these medical bills, thank fuck i get some back through
medicare.

I can’t stop crying. – I hate being at work when I am like this. But i
can’t exactly leave. No I have to tell my boss I am going to need more
time off for more tests again! FUCK!

Testing from Gmail and stuff

Edited – it did it as well – dammnit!

I am testing this posting via email from my Gmail account to see if it does
the odd formatting that my work email seems to produce.

Will have to see how it goes I guess.

Am feeling really flat today, not sure why, just lethargic, I think it could
be that I require and influx of caffeine stat! or it coudl be that I am just
tired….maybe and more likely a mix…..it probably also has to do with the
fact that I am listening to such slow music on my iphone I am almost falling
asleep….well that’s the problem with a crappy soundtrack for a new movie
which i haven’t seen yet!!

*NEW MOON OUT TONIGHT!!!!!*

I would go and see the midnight screening if I wanted to spend 40 bucks on a
ticket, but I just can’t justify that, so will go and see it sometime over
the weekend…and nbo i don’t want to see it opening night…far too many
other people will be doing that I am still nto brilliant in
crowds…..better than i was 2 years ago, but not something I want to just
throw myself into. I can’t believe it is finally here!!! SQUEUUEEEEEE!!!!

OK that made me a lilttle perkier….so must get coffee and listen to some
upbeat music!! LOL

I worked until 8pm last night to clear some of our queues out and clear it
up for the team and I get in this morning and get told it didn’t make a
difference…that was fucking depressing news as well, but not uncommon
here. I got through approx cases yesterday in total and none of it made any
difference even though I brought us up to approx 3 days instead fo 5…..I
hate this queue/day system we have sometimes…..

I have a Dr appointment at 9.45am as the surgery they did in JUne has still
not healed and I am really getting over it….this will be the third time I
have been to the Dr about it. They just keep giving me antibitoics saying it
is infected and that’s why it hasn’t healed so I am on drugs for like a
month, i leave it a month and then i go back to the Dr when it hasn’t
healed….it is becoming a pattern and I am getting very very sick of it.

I have another 2 Dr appointments next week for my female bits and a recheck
on that, so will give more detail on that once I have been.

Anyway I think that is enough for a test post hey? LOL
___

My weekend!

So was too damn hot all weekend, so spent most of it doing the clothes washing – it has been a very long time since I did most of it and well, I feel simply awful about it, anyway – have approx 3 more loads to go and I will hoepfully be completely out of washing. Am also needing to buy some garbage bags and get ride of old clothes we will never wear and drop them off at the salvos bin around the corner. I think that will help with the massive amounts of crap we have lying about the place 🙂

So most of it got dried, there are still a few peices that are just slightly damp, but with 32 degrees all this week, I am sure I can finish the last of the washing AND have it all dried before the weekend! YAY! LOL

D went out Saturday night to lodge so I was home watching some movies and just doing general houseworkie stuff…I swear raiding 3 nights of the week just makes the housework pile up for the weekends! LOL still have to do dishes when i get tonight before I raid….but we are slowly getting there. I have my course this week which means my Tuesday night is out again, so I have Friday to get all my housework done before the weekend hits this week as we have a friend coming down this weekend, which means I won’t be online again this weekend…..

God it is annoying!! LOL I just feel as though i spend soo much time doing real life stuff, I know it is more important, but I just feel bad that I am not around for my guild, meh – maybe they dont’ even notice fi I am there or not..LOL..

Nothing much else happened, re built my mac as it was completly stuffed, so am hoping that everything will work nice and smoothly now, fingers crossed as the test will be tonight. But last week I couldn’t even use a webbrowser without it freezing every 30 seconds…well not the browser, but my actual mac was freezing, so I played around with it for about 40 minutes after the install to ensure it wasn’t doing anything funny and it seemed to be going ok, so started restoring all the old files etc then spent another
40 minutes playing with it to ensure it was still handling the pressure….basically that was my day on Sunday – just installing one propgram at a time then spending time ensuring it didn’t affect my mac at all…..LOL…was a very frustrating day – but in the end nothing seemed to be affecting it adversly…so fingers crossed it was just in need of a nice clean install 😀

Nothing much else to type at the moment, it is hot and I am at work….LOL…too hot – once the temp gets above 22 we shoud lbe able to stay home !! LOL