Too hard to think of a good title

I am still waiting to hear back from my last interview…they advised roughly 2 weeks before they would respond to people so this week marks 2 weeks since my interview.

I have been trying to remember to have my phone with me and not on silent in the hopes I get that phone call  or email soon.

Christmas is coming up and we have no solid plans as yet except we have to be home for Boxing day BBQ that happens every year at a friends place. Contemplating going to visit the father in law for Xmas weekend – still undecided and if we stay home hubby wants to go to the local botanical garden and have a picnic lunch if weather permits.  His mother will likely have to attend as well.  I have no idea if my mother and her muslim tribe are planning on doing anything – I do normally try and drag  my mother to whatever I am doing for Xmas as I don’t want her to spend it alone, but this year is her first with her tribe and I am not sure what the situation is…I am sure she will tell me in due course 🙂

I am feeliing ok about things mentally, but that is because I know I cannot control anything at the moment except how i feel.  So one day at a time is how I am taking it.

I was chatting to my little sister the other day who is trying to lose weight about the entire thing and she has given me some motivation to want to as well.  BUt honestly, the exhaustion from travelling so much is winning out.  My plan over the Xmas break I am having – the shop closes for a month – is to exercise for at least an hour 2 times a day.

If those people on “the biggest loser” can lose 10kgs a week by excercising all day for 3 months then I am going to give it a darn good attempt as well.  I have a bike and my workout room and I can walk etc as well…but I am hoping that after a solid month I will have started to develop the habit almost and it will be easier to just keep it going…espeiclaly if I have started to actually drop kilo’s.

Anywa, back to work I suppose hey?  It’s been really quiet at work this week. The phones have been dead since the storm on the weekend and they only work when being diverted.

What a fucking shitty week…

Not for me, but for my friends in Sydney…There seems to be far too much hurt happening and there is nothing I can do about it to help them except offer support via email and phone etc.

One of my besties in Sydney let her mum just over 4 months ago, now her step dad has just passed as well due to cancer.  Her brothers have now lost both parents within such a short period and I just have no words to express my sorrow.

The painter at work lost his dad 6 months ago, and 2 weeks ago, lost his mum as well.  He also lost a brother last year.

Another friend in sydney lost her sister earlier this year and has just announced she and her husband of 12 years are separating due to differences. They have 2 children and she is moving back to her parents place in another state.

Another friend in Sydney has advised she s seeking fertility advice as she and her husband are having issues falling pregnant.

And to keep it going, another friend in Sydney has just lost his mother – 2 weeks ago and that is obviously still very fresh for him.

I lost someone this year that wasn’t overly close to me on a personal level, but on a religious level she meant a great deal to me as she was the introduction to the path I now follow.

These last few months have been horrible for all my friends and I just cannot understand how it can happen to so many people at once.  When summed up like this I just feel so completely horrible that I am not on the phone with them and attempting to make them feel better, but what do you say to someone who is dealing with this kind of raw emotional output.

I just wish I was closer to these people, both territorially and emotionally so the support I offer could be useful….

Treading water

I have done a few posts lately and then just not finished them or have kept them private – there is all together too much whinging, anger and emo in them.

I am feeling overall, positive about everything – but beneath it is the lurking suspicion that I am not really aware of reality.  I have my version of reality and everyone else is in another one.  I have to some how deal with this issue as it is causes problems in my own life.

I am still applying for jobs and harrassing the recruitment agencies I am listed with – of the 3 of them – I have made a phone call a week to the recruiter and have been lucky to get a return phone call in 2 weeks.  I am becoming increasingly assured that recruiters don’t actually do any work or that I am completely unemployable.  Since I know I can work, and have done in the past – I can only assume the first statement is therefore true.

Hubby is telling me to keep my chin up and that it will work out – he went through a bad unemployment spell before landing his current employer so he remembers how it feels.  It is just so disheartening to not even be given interviews – not even at agences either when I apply for jobs or ring them about sending my resume through….just complete silence even when I have been calling them.

It is hard.  So hard.  With the amount of jobs out there and the unemployment rate so low how can it be so hard to get a job?  I don’t think I will ever understand how they come up with figures that are so obviously distorted.

We have AWC in a couple of weeks, so a few days in Tassie might give me a little re-charge in batteries.  It will be nice to get away from everything here and not worry about things.  Hubby managed to get a two week break basically at the same time, he hasn’t had a proper long break in a very long time so it will be very good for him.

My plan to lose weight before my next birthday is not going anywhere – I have discovered though – I need to go to be by 10pm to be able to get up at 5am without too much issue….but it is the going to bed at 10 I am struggling with.  I just lose so much time travelling that I stay up later to feel that I have some semblence of time.

So this weekend I am going to try it out..I want to get up at 5.30 and see if I can do a good workout in 30 minutes therefore allowing me time to get through the shower and ready to leave by 6.30 at the absolute latest.  That’s my plan anyway 😀

I better run anyway, since I am at work – I am sure going to get a few phone calls etc so don’t have time to type 😀  BYE

Bah humbug

I haven’t really been writing much lately, because I just seem to have nothing worthwhile to say 🙂 The only really noteworthy thing that has happened is the bank stuffed up and sent our renewal visa debit card to our old address, someone nicked it out of the mailbox and then proceeded to use it:

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New bed and new me

We have now been sleeping on our bed for almost a week and my back is almost, almost not sore..there is still a slight twinge but it is nothing compared to what it used to be.  It took about 3 days for the pain to finally stop – after the first night there was a noticeable difference. So I am feeling so much better!!  My biggest issue with the bed is how high from the ground we are sleeping, at a guess it is almost triple the height of our old bed and I have to almost climb into it every night….I love it…except for nights like last night where hubby kept snuggling closer to me and at some point I was about to fall out….it’s a big drop…So comfy though…omg so comfy…new bed is super…love it – it’s probably my best buy of 2011….

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Update on my ear

Sorry for all the posting I am doing today/tonight.  I am just really not wanting to get off my new mac 🙂 HAHHAH

I had my post up follow up today for my ear, and the Dr said it is healing very well.  The only problem there is some sponge which has kind of stuck itself to my ear, so now that hehas most of th esponge out, I have to put about 5/6 drops into my ear, 3 times a day in the hopes it dissolves and loosens it better. Fingers crossed really.  Must remember to put some in shortly. Perhaps make a chai to go with it.

I also found out I have some of this sponge behind my ear drum, which will probably take about 3/4 weeks to completely dissolve and explains why I am still not able to hear very well.  I have to admit I can hear better since he took the majority of the sponge out, although I still have trouble if there is too much background noise…very annoying since there is always some sort of noise.

I also did some study tonight and hubby somehow managed to wade through all the crap on the dining table and completely clear it of everything on there. I am so very impressed.  It just means less work for me tomorrow.

I am running errand day tomorrow…I have to go to highpoint, then get the car checked for this ludicrous EPA fine thing, then make some phone calls which have to be during normal business hours of 9-5 (which is difficult at work due to the nature of the office) and then I have to get some groceries for our dinner guests etc and I just decided with a day like that I would just not go into work and take it as unpaid.

Hubby is sitting behind me looking up law degrees and I am so very proud of him for taking the step into investigating this. I really do hope he finds a degree/uni that is suitable. I would love to see him do something he wants to do as a career and not just something he fell into and happens to be good at. let’s face it, as I have said before, he is excellent at anything he does…it drives me mental sometimes, but it just means I have complete confidence in his ability to pick up something like law and make it a successful career. Could be very interesting times ahead if we are both studying degrees!! Imagine exam time…EEEEEK!

Tomorrow is one of my best friends mothers funerals.  I have not responded to her general status updates on fb and such as (and I could be very wrong) she is well aware there is nothing anyone can say that will make this easier for her.  However I know she is a write at heart and so to be updating at least gets it out there for her, whether people respond or not.  She knows we are here for her and she knows the extent to which any of us would go for her at the drop of a hat should she need anything.  I just don’t think it needs repeating and I certainly feel a little selfish for constantly repeating it to her.  Almost like I am saying it to make myself feel better about her feeling so awful….Not sure I explained that very well.  I know tomorrow is going to be truly horrible for her with everything she is going through and it is never nice to bury someone you love (on any level).

If you read this sweety, please just breathe and remember that she is no longer in that body but standing with you, as B will be. Draw on his strength, that’s why we have companions in life and love.

Anyway, I am going to make myself a chai and then sit down and fall asleep on the couch.  I am beat.

 

 

Another big day…I am soooo wrecked!

Today was huge, we left the desks in the back of my car that we bought at ikea yesteday (which I failed to mention in my last post) and decided to head to Doncaster for the day.

It is hubbies favourite shopping centre and I dont really mind it all that much – it has all of our favourite stores and it is clean and parking is always a breeze, even in the later part of the morning (you just hve to know which area to head for).

We went to Pandora and bought me a couple of new charms….I love them!  I have been wanting them for a little while.  I will take pictures of them tonight and post them 🙂  They are soo very lovely!  Then whilst waiting to pay – we found a little viking charm!!!! So damn cute I had to have him as well.  As it currently stands – I think I need maybe…6 more charms and I will be full bracelet, which means I can start on my next one!!  hehehe

So we then walked around a little bit, had a look at a few shops and I bought a pair of sunnies – finally!!  They are very nice and will be awesome for our sydney trip as I did not want to drive for 8 hours without sunnies…would be horrific!  Ralph Lauren I think is the brand – and nowhere near the price I thought they would be to be honest…less than 150…is that good ?  i have no idea – I just liked the style!

Then  of course the big purchase – TWO NEW IMACS!!!!!! oh yeah baby!!  Pretty excited about them actually! They are very nice and they will look lovely on our new desks…must remember to take a picture of all these new bits and pieces!

So we finally get home after all that and attempt to set up the desks and clean out the current room!  What a mess!! Hubby had to reset his mac as we were not sure which one had the RAM upgrade, anyway long story short – the desks got built, the macs got set up and the dining table looks like a bomb has hit it 🙂

Will be cleaning the entire place tonight anyway as we have dinner tomorrow night with everyone 🙂

 

***edited to add

WOW, I thought I hit the post button – i didn’t…so here it is then…a little late though 😀

Happy Birthday :D

Every year I write a blog post on my birthday, have done so since 2003, and sometimes they are full of hope and life and excitment, other times they are filled with dread and despair.

This year is kind of just meh for me….the only real goal I have is to lose weight…this is going to be the year I put everything I have into it.  Every ounce of motivation, passion and hope.  I am funnelling it all into losing weight.

I don’t really feel as if I am having a birthday, perhaps I just don’t really care much about turning 33…am I 33 already?  Surely it is 32? oops, yup it is 32 😀  NICE…I added a year onto my age….that’s just WRONG!!!

I am going to be getting my bike L’s soon, as I still have a “want” to ride.  I want to lose enough weight that I can buy a nice bike and not feel huge on it and I want to be able to buy leathers that don’t make me look like the S & M version of the Stay puft Marshmallow man….All in good time of course 🙂

So to sum up my last year, I left MLC (finally), I started my degree (finally), we moved to Kyneton, we got back into our religious practices, my mother finally married the man of her dreams and got married, Hubby got some of the best birthday presents this year for his birthday, we bought a new VW and got rid of the troubled mini, we finally got rid of the old couch when it collpased, we have avoided getting any new credit cards, we have stayed on top of our bills (although no savings thanks to my pay cut), we started eating better (then kind of stopped), I lost 10kgs over Xmas with some hard work and training.

Of all these things, the only thing I am disappointed in is my lack of weight loss.  I wanted this last year to be the year when I could look back and admire my 70kg weight loss.  Looks like this will be that year instead, so I am going to push myself and ensure it happens this year!!  Next birthday I want to be able to brag and brag and brag!! 😀  Consider yourself warned.

I will be ensuring I update my weight loss/exercise blog – ponderosity.wordpress.com a fair bit more and I may add more than just my exercise for the night on there, such as PCOS weightloss challenge (which I missed this time round – so will start in August officially, and this week unofficially), food and other stuff.

Happy Birthday Onyxiia.

Missing

So I got 97% and a HD for my previous module, in all honest I couldn’t work out if thy was my exam or module result…either way I kicked arse on that.

I spent most of last night trying to complete my other assignment and I am having real trouble writing about managers….I have never worked under what I would consider a good manager and so I am having trouble keeping my assignment objective and uncolored by negative experience. Perhaps a little harsh but so very true!!

I have barely done any study and I really need to start getting into it

Bikemania has taken over at our house since the try it free session. Hubby even bought a book with bike sales a d has Ben looking into what bike he wants to buy!!! The joys of having a chance to look up things at work!?!?!

I really want to do my l’s but I just don’t have time or money right now. The money thing I am planning on improving after June, once I have gotten dad caught up with the tax man.