Moving forward

I have enrolled in Uni, I start in August 🙂

I am doing Intro to Chemistry as I have to have basic chem to do any science courses.  I am nervous as hell. I can do it though.  I have more than enough nerdy science friends that could tutor me and indeed even my mother!

I can get it done!  This will be the start of increasing my GPA.

I also start karate next week – Monday in fact. So I will be doing uni study before classes start it’s a good way of utilizing my time 😀 as I have 2 hours to waste before classes start and when I finish work.

The only issue being i will have to spend sunday cooking as many pre-meals as possible I think as it will just get too hard to cook both and lunch and dinner for Monday and Thursdays the night before or morning of.

Due to my weightloss I am able to fit into my suit again – so job interviews are back on the table!!  WOOT!

My business idea is still churning around i my head.  I have to go and buy some material this fortnight and start sewing. Then asking friends if they want things made so I can build a portfolio up and then creating a web profile for it. I don’t want to give away too much because I don’t want to risk losing the idea 🙂

 

Bugger

My business idea is not something I can protect…I basically have to hope that when I pitch it, they don’t steal it off me.  Received information from an IP lawyer today 😦

The best way I can figure to do this is to just start it up and hope like hell, I get buyers and then when I start getting some business and support hopefully I can defend it should I need to.

All I can think, is that i need to get it started ASAP and then build it up slowly over time.

I need to think.

Getting back in the game

The last couple of weeks I have been trying to get my head back in the game. Not be such a whinging little cow and make my life mean something to me again.

I am not telling my friends and family about this (aside from those who read this of course) as I don’t want to fail again in their eyes.

Because I don’t have a GPA at the moment with the one HD and 3 fails, I have decided to enrol back into study – I am not going to enrol into a degree at this stage, just a module at a time.  I will try as much as possible to stick with the one university and the one degree course for the modules.

I am currently looking at doing science. I know – another change – however as I said to hubby a few nights ago…I never really considered science seriously because I don’t feel that I am smart enough.  From a chemistry standpoint, I certainly am not. However I loved biology, genetics, and cells in high school  From my recollection I did quite well on those projects. Perhaps my mother will remember better than I do.

I also had quite a few career choices I was interested in that were science based like Vet, Nurse, CSIRO research etc..I remember those desires vividly. Why did I let them fall by the wayside – because I wasn’t good at chemistry? Seems silly to me now.  I think I thought all science was the same and really it isn’t is it?

Anyway, I can do intro science, see how i like it, see what happens.  The modules I looked at all have Melbourne based on campus learning for one week of the study period, mornings only, so I can manage that with no extra money for flights etc.

I want to make my parents proud, I want to make my hubby proud, I want to make myself proud.  I am not a dole bludger welfare mother, so yes I could be proud of that fact, but I want more from my life and I am the only one who is going to be able to get it.

I have not yet enrolled as I still freak out every few days about my cockiness – who in the hell do I think I am?  Me – do science…please, it would be like watching a horse trying to waltz!!  Anyway, I am working through those thoughts 🙂

Next, a blogging friend, who I have been following for a while now, has done me something that has given me such a boost of love and confidence.  There are a few of us in the WoW blogosphere that are in love with Chibis. They are cute little characters drawings of our in game toons.  They are so gorgeous you honestly want to just die.  Think of the cat from Puss in Boots with the big round eyes cute 🙂  Anyway, I have made comment a few times on how wonderful they are…I will get one ordered soon! Well I have a few toons I would love to get a couple done.  In the end she told me last night – she had one ordered for me!!  OMG! I don’t know which of my toons, likely my mage, but honestly I was floored!

It has made me feel so special that she has got one ordered for me. I really can’t put it into words how special.  I must do something to repay the kindness she has shown me.  Once I receive it, I have to make a lovely post, but I can’t formulate words correctly at the moment, I don’t know of anything that I could do which would say how I really feel about it.  It is more than just a chibi to me.

 

JUST CANT GET A BREAK

So annoyed right now, applied for a junior underwriter position – decided to call now to confirm they received my application, they had sort of…it wasn’t there but was apparently…

THEN

they want someone with commercial insurance experience….WELL REALLY – WHY NOT PUT THAT IN THE FUCKING ADVERT YOU DUMBARSES!!!!

Why am I unemployed when I am so much better then these arses out there?  news.com.au and theage.com.au have both has typing errors in their news articles recently which annoys me….I know I can’t type and i post with errors – but I am not a journalist and generally I am ranting and i don’t get paid to make sure I can proofread things correctly!

I also am able to type up appropriate job adverts so as to not waste 2 hours of my night retyping a god damn resume to be appropriate to the fucking position.  Nor am I incapable of learning how commercial insurance works vs personal….insurance is not that different across areas..no it really isn’t…

So over it right now!

On a upbeat note – i am getting a new domain tomorrow for my weightloss blog and perhaps my gaming blog.  I may make my personal blog part of my weightloss blog although I think that can be boring for some people….not sure yet….Either way I am excited about spending the weekend updating my blogs and just having a play.

 

Photography

I am toying with the idea of setting up a very basic website for my photography.  I have realised this last few months that I am not very good at photography that involves people….for some reason I cannot get a clean shot…however with my abstract and  landscape/macro stuff I think I get fucking awesome images…so I will just be focusing on that 🙂  I am not really wanting to make a living out of it, but it would be nice if people actually bought anything I shot…just because they liked it….I am not really sure I want to start paying for some of the fancy sites out there, when in the end – I am not really even going to try and make money out of it….Not sure though….it has just been something in the back of my mind.

At the moment, I am just going through all my images and placing a name tag on them…I know most of the time people can remove it if they are really keen, but it is just nice knowing it is on there and perhaps if people start seeing a name – subconsciously it will be remembered?  LOL….Mind you my images are nothing like the stuff I have seen….there are some brilliant photographers out there, and I mean jaw droppingly fantabulous photos are being produced….but you know – there are some fucking awful ones as well 😀  Each person likes a different style and with how many billion people in the world…potentially at least one person will like my images enough to buy one of them…providing I can get it out there enough 🙂  Well that’s my theory!

I was going through my images from Xmas and am a little disappointed actually as a lot of them are grainy…and I am not sure why…my camera is a pretty good quality one and I am baffled..it isn’t like they are out of focus…or maybe they are and it comes out grainy…i don’t know…but some were crystal clear; so perhaps it was just the focus….anyway I suck at people shots as I try to capture things without waiting the 3 seconds to focus…but the moment could be gone….gAHH!

So, I am currently just adding things to my G+ account, and I may make another photography circle; I deleted the last one as I was so despondent about everything and I figured I would never take another photo again, but Xmas Day and Boxing Day has made me realise how much I enjoy doing it….so I am just going to keep it in the back and let people enjoy or dislike my stuff as they see fit.  The important thing is that “I” get pictures that I like and no -one can take that from me 🙂

I wish I could show that kind of resolve in other areas of my life….like Uni etc….I am also join to call Melbourne Uni/VTAC this week and find out about the STAT test I am supposed to sit…..not that Melbourne Uni is the one I have to go to…however it does have a very awesome Arts program AND it is one of the more easy uni’s to get into….it is also very prestigious; I have to admit I really wouldn’t mind saying I finished my degree there…..is that shallow of me?  perhaps….

Anyway, once I speak to them, then I can decide on the work issue….I will keep pushing something like Coles/Woollies if I can get into Uni as I am then able to go to uni full-time (maybe) and still work enough hours somewhere to bring in enough money for us to live on.  I would rather go to uni full time as it will mean a degree will only take me 3 years as opposed to potentially 10…..We shall see though….I have to make phone calls before anything can move forward – at least I have a plan though.

My plan was also to get into a routine with exercise whilst on holidays and I have failed miserably at that.  I have done nothing….Xmas/NYE was very busy though and I just didn’t get a chance to stop…so the last thing I was thinking about was finding time to exercise…and since then all I have done is sit on my butt!  hahaahh  I need to take this next few weeks and make something of it.  But then the last week up where I am has been above 35 eve3ry day and I can barely function in that heat let alone exercise….today is not actually too bad, so I may find the motivation to do something…even if it just the first half of the kickboxing DVD I have.

Xmas Update :)

I have forgotten to update simply because it is so busy 🙂  hence the daily truth things, I thought it would perhaps keep people learning more about me, however since a couple decided not to post and previous mentioned, I figured I may as well tae this time to do a quick update 🙂

The Mother-in-Law came down on Christmas Eve Day, so I had to get up early, get all the Xmas day shopping done and then drive for 1.2 hours to get M-I-L from train station.  Essentially a wasted day 🙂

Xmas Day, we went to the local botanical gardens for the day to just get out of the house and do something different, we had a late addition of a tribe of nigerian people come as well. IN truth, they are only 5 Nigerians, but with the racket the kids make – I swear it feels like 30 🙂

We had a lovely day, the kids played soccer and the adults caught up.  Here is a youtube clip of my siblings having some dancing and singing. I apologise in advance for the quality I took this one on my iPhone and I have yet to grab the stuff off my proper camera 🙂

Hubby and my mum both ended up with some heat issues – dehydration perhaps…sun stroke…no idea…but Xmas in Melbourne can be a little scorchy.

We came home at about 5pm, and then had one of our friends come round at about 6pm to just chill out and have some drinks with us.

Then Boxing Day every year we head round to a friends place for a BBQ, however we went to bendigo in the morning to get some wedding photos printed out for the M-I-L and then we had a look around and a few bits and pieces.  BBQ was really good we got there at about 2.3pm and we got home at about 7pm, we all then decided to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing!!  We were all pretty wrecked!

The next day we spent driving for 3 hours to drop the m-i-l off at the train station, which was 40 minutes late, and then we had some more friends over for dinner.

Yesterday, hubby went to work and was not feeling well so came home after about 3 hours…he is feeling better now though which is great.

Just typing that post has made me feel exhausted again to be honest!  We still have to find a chance to get over to see my Dad and S-mum for Xmas etc, but in all honesty, we have New years in a couple of days – which we have to start getting organised for, and I just need to get some sleep in!

I hope everyone I know has had a lovely Christmas and all that good stuff.

A good friend recently started doing video diaries instead of blogging, who would be interested in hearing me waffle or do you prefer to read it?  I am contemplating starting to test it out as well, and I have done a few videos here and there…let me know what you think 🙂

I am also trying to get my camera out again, I lost a lot of confidence in myself recently and although I have decided I don’t want to do portraits – I do enjoy taking landscape and animal shots…so I am going to continue with that and perhaps create a section/website dedicated to that so that people can purchase prints maybe?  Still working on the idea as I don’t want to spend money on something that I have no real intention of pursuing as a huge part of my life, but I would like to share images with people so if they want to hang them in their houses/shops/hotels etc they are able to.

Uni – is still a work in progress – I am still deciding what I am going to do- as yet I am undecided and I have to make some phone calls tomorrow about it all.

 

Too hard to think of a good title

I am still waiting to hear back from my last interview…they advised roughly 2 weeks before they would respond to people so this week marks 2 weeks since my interview.

I have been trying to remember to have my phone with me and not on silent in the hopes I get that phone call  or email soon.

Christmas is coming up and we have no solid plans as yet except we have to be home for Boxing day BBQ that happens every year at a friends place. Contemplating going to visit the father in law for Xmas weekend – still undecided and if we stay home hubby wants to go to the local botanical garden and have a picnic lunch if weather permits.  His mother will likely have to attend as well.  I have no idea if my mother and her muslim tribe are planning on doing anything – I do normally try and drag  my mother to whatever I am doing for Xmas as I don’t want her to spend it alone, but this year is her first with her tribe and I am not sure what the situation is…I am sure she will tell me in due course 🙂

I am feeliing ok about things mentally, but that is because I know I cannot control anything at the moment except how i feel.  So one day at a time is how I am taking it.

I was chatting to my little sister the other day who is trying to lose weight about the entire thing and she has given me some motivation to want to as well.  BUt honestly, the exhaustion from travelling so much is winning out.  My plan over the Xmas break I am having – the shop closes for a month – is to exercise for at least an hour 2 times a day.

If those people on “the biggest loser” can lose 10kgs a week by excercising all day for 3 months then I am going to give it a darn good attempt as well.  I have a bike and my workout room and I can walk etc as well…but I am hoping that after a solid month I will have started to develop the habit almost and it will be easier to just keep it going…espeiclaly if I have started to actually drop kilo’s.

Anywa, back to work I suppose hey?  It’s been really quiet at work this week. The phones have been dead since the storm on the weekend and they only work when being diverted.