Vlogs

You may have noticed a distinct lack of actual posts up here lately, well, that’s because I have been honestly moving towards journalling via my video capture….I hated it to start with, but seriously, so much  more can be said in 3 minutes than waiting for the actual page to be typed out.

I have been updating them to youtube, however youtube doesn’t have a very good private setting, and honestly, remembering all my friends youtube usernames and having to retype them each time I do a video is highly annoying, so I will be trying out vimeo – which uses a password protection option of videos, so I am hoping I can use the same password for each video – that would be easy…they seem to be taking a while to upload the actual video though, so it may end up being more annoying than anything else.

However once I have that up there to test out, I will put the link with the password into my G+ circle for you to check out at your leisure and tell me if you think it is more viable.

Chat later 🙂

Too hot

It’s too hot for me today, I can’t sleep.  So thought I would get up and post, see if it makes any difference to my state of being.

It got to 34 degrees today and is currently approx 25 degrees, we are about 20 minutes away from the nearest weather station thing, so how far off the temp is I have no idea.  I am not a hot – or even warm – weather kind of person.  I do not cope well at all.

Anyway, I am back to work on Thursday, tomorrow being my last day on holidays and it is going to be a pretty full on day. I have a guy coming at 9am to quote us one getting security/fly screens on our doors – but the girl i booked it through reckons $600 EACH door is a bare minimum….not fucking likely thanks..I will learn how to if that is the case.

I was going to get my nails fixed, but will move that appointment to the weekend, as I have to take the new Dad to have hid driving license test. My fingers are crossed for him as this will be his third attempt I think.  They say that’s the charm right? Apparently his instructor double booked himself or something and mum can’t get the arvo off work, so I am it 🙂  Lucky for them I am still on holidays. :p  So hopefully he can stick some P plates on his car tomorrow afternoon 🙂

I also officially applied to UNE today. Honestly, I was going to go through melbourne Uni, but I had to wait until next year to start German with them as I have missed this years admission and mid year intake does not have German 101 basically.  I also had to sit a STAT test for Melb uni, which I could not find accurate information about anywhere and every time I tried to call I would get shuffled from one area to another….seems no one really knows about Mature age entry STATs….anyway it just seemed all to hard.  I can’t be bothered dancing to tunes that have no flow.

I don’t know when i find out if I have been accepted, I assume I just get an email when and if it does not doesn’t happen.  In the mean time I am going to try and find some sites or G+ groups for people learning german.  It will help to some degree I am sure 😀

There are other things appending with family that I can’t/don’t want to post about until we know more.

Not much else has really been happening really, just general life and day to day things.

Origin energy…dickheads…

with nice customer service people…..

I rang today to  find out why I hadn’t received a gas bill in a while and discovered that in July 11, somehow they changed my billing address back to that of my old addy…now we are coming into our 3rd year at this house – I doubt I would have done it.

However now they are saying I need to cough up almost $700 in outstanding bills or they will cut me off…..the lady I spoke to also advised they had tried to call me at the old  phone number and I asked her why they didn’t look up the electricity account and check for numbers there – the accounts are joined sort of on their system so you would think to try all methods of contact – perhaps even send a letter to the address listed under the current electricity account ??

So I then had to make a payment plan on the fucking spot – and I said I couldn’t so have “promised to pay” $50 a fortnight so we don’t get disconnected…..

What annoys me is that I am being threatened with disconnection because they fucked up

…..I now have to find a buttload of money – and in all honesty I don’t even know how it could be that high a bill anyway…..

I am sooo annoyed and will be investigating alternate energy companies.  I have had multiple issues with Origin since using them and I am unimpressed this continues to happen. 6 months after we first moved here I had to call them and find out why I had not received bills – turns out they didn’t set up my account properly to switch over on the specific date we were  moving….and then I had to call back again after that because the gas account wasn’t changed, and now I have had to do that again…..

The lady I spoke to seemed unable to answer most of my questions just – i am not sure, i don’t know, i can’t help and that pipes me off even more….you should be able to tell me everything i need to know….I am still contemplating contacting them back again and speaking to a manager about it…..

I am annoyed….

Photography

I am toying with the idea of setting up a very basic website for my photography.  I have realised this last few months that I am not very good at photography that involves people….for some reason I cannot get a clean shot…however with my abstract and  landscape/macro stuff I think I get fucking awesome images…so I will just be focusing on that 🙂  I am not really wanting to make a living out of it, but it would be nice if people actually bought anything I shot…just because they liked it….I am not really sure I want to start paying for some of the fancy sites out there, when in the end – I am not really even going to try and make money out of it….Not sure though….it has just been something in the back of my mind.

At the moment, I am just going through all my images and placing a name tag on them…I know most of the time people can remove it if they are really keen, but it is just nice knowing it is on there and perhaps if people start seeing a name – subconsciously it will be remembered?  LOL….Mind you my images are nothing like the stuff I have seen….there are some brilliant photographers out there, and I mean jaw droppingly fantabulous photos are being produced….but you know – there are some fucking awful ones as well 😀  Each person likes a different style and with how many billion people in the world…potentially at least one person will like my images enough to buy one of them…providing I can get it out there enough 🙂  Well that’s my theory!

I was going through my images from Xmas and am a little disappointed actually as a lot of them are grainy…and I am not sure why…my camera is a pretty good quality one and I am baffled..it isn’t like they are out of focus…or maybe they are and it comes out grainy…i don’t know…but some were crystal clear; so perhaps it was just the focus….anyway I suck at people shots as I try to capture things without waiting the 3 seconds to focus…but the moment could be gone….gAHH!

So, I am currently just adding things to my G+ account, and I may make another photography circle; I deleted the last one as I was so despondent about everything and I figured I would never take another photo again, but Xmas Day and Boxing Day has made me realise how much I enjoy doing it….so I am just going to keep it in the back and let people enjoy or dislike my stuff as they see fit.  The important thing is that “I” get pictures that I like and no -one can take that from me 🙂

I wish I could show that kind of resolve in other areas of my life….like Uni etc….I am also join to call Melbourne Uni/VTAC this week and find out about the STAT test I am supposed to sit…..not that Melbourne Uni is the one I have to go to…however it does have a very awesome Arts program AND it is one of the more easy uni’s to get into….it is also very prestigious; I have to admit I really wouldn’t mind saying I finished my degree there…..is that shallow of me?  perhaps….

Anyway, once I speak to them, then I can decide on the work issue….I will keep pushing something like Coles/Woollies if I can get into Uni as I am then able to go to uni full-time (maybe) and still work enough hours somewhere to bring in enough money for us to live on.  I would rather go to uni full time as it will mean a degree will only take me 3 years as opposed to potentially 10…..We shall see though….I have to make phone calls before anything can move forward – at least I have a plan though.

My plan was also to get into a routine with exercise whilst on holidays and I have failed miserably at that.  I have done nothing….Xmas/NYE was very busy though and I just didn’t get a chance to stop…so the last thing I was thinking about was finding time to exercise…and since then all I have done is sit on my butt!  hahaahh  I need to take this next few weeks and make something of it.  But then the last week up where I am has been above 35 eve3ry day and I can barely function in that heat let alone exercise….today is not actually too bad, so I may find the motivation to do something…even if it just the first half of the kickboxing DVD I have.

Xmas Update :)

I have forgotten to update simply because it is so busy 🙂  hence the daily truth things, I thought it would perhaps keep people learning more about me, however since a couple decided not to post and previous mentioned, I figured I may as well tae this time to do a quick update 🙂

The Mother-in-Law came down on Christmas Eve Day, so I had to get up early, get all the Xmas day shopping done and then drive for 1.2 hours to get M-I-L from train station.  Essentially a wasted day 🙂

Xmas Day, we went to the local botanical gardens for the day to just get out of the house and do something different, we had a late addition of a tribe of nigerian people come as well. IN truth, they are only 5 Nigerians, but with the racket the kids make – I swear it feels like 30 🙂

We had a lovely day, the kids played soccer and the adults caught up.  Here is a youtube clip of my siblings having some dancing and singing. I apologise in advance for the quality I took this one on my iPhone and I have yet to grab the stuff off my proper camera 🙂

Hubby and my mum both ended up with some heat issues – dehydration perhaps…sun stroke…no idea…but Xmas in Melbourne can be a little scorchy.

We came home at about 5pm, and then had one of our friends come round at about 6pm to just chill out and have some drinks with us.

Then Boxing Day every year we head round to a friends place for a BBQ, however we went to bendigo in the morning to get some wedding photos printed out for the M-I-L and then we had a look around and a few bits and pieces.  BBQ was really good we got there at about 2.3pm and we got home at about 7pm, we all then decided to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing!!  We were all pretty wrecked!

The next day we spent driving for 3 hours to drop the m-i-l off at the train station, which was 40 minutes late, and then we had some more friends over for dinner.

Yesterday, hubby went to work and was not feeling well so came home after about 3 hours…he is feeling better now though which is great.

Just typing that post has made me feel exhausted again to be honest!  We still have to find a chance to get over to see my Dad and S-mum for Xmas etc, but in all honesty, we have New years in a couple of days – which we have to start getting organised for, and I just need to get some sleep in!

I hope everyone I know has had a lovely Christmas and all that good stuff.

A good friend recently started doing video diaries instead of blogging, who would be interested in hearing me waffle or do you prefer to read it?  I am contemplating starting to test it out as well, and I have done a few videos here and there…let me know what you think 🙂

I am also trying to get my camera out again, I lost a lot of confidence in myself recently and although I have decided I don’t want to do portraits – I do enjoy taking landscape and animal shots…so I am going to continue with that and perhaps create a section/website dedicated to that so that people can purchase prints maybe?  Still working on the idea as I don’t want to spend money on something that I have no real intention of pursuing as a huge part of my life, but I would like to share images with people so if they want to hang them in their houses/shops/hotels etc they are able to.

Uni – is still a work in progress – I am still deciding what I am going to do- as yet I am undecided and I have to make some phone calls tomorrow about it all.

 

Morale De-booster….

I just don’t understand it, I don’t think I will ever understand it.

I had an email today from a recruitment agency that I spoke to months ago with a position they felt I should/would/could apply for.

Except…I have no serious experience in complaints handling other than the general stuff you deal with as an account manager and i can tell you now – it is NOT a career path I would choose willingly.

So she wants me to tailor my resume to highlight the complaints management I did at my previous employer…of which would be 5% of my role. Not much I can highlight there.

I just feel so completely useless again…I was finally beginning to get over the last bout and now I am right back down there, I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but there are no words that make it ok.

I am so lacking in self worth at the moment that I can’t even apply for jobs at all – haven’t for months because I know with certainty I am useless…i am not going to get offered anything and I am not even worth the air I breath.

Yes I am smiling and putting on a good show with the laughing but on the
inside I am screaming and violently angry.

I have no way to safely release all the pain and do I just bottle it up. If I cry then hubby gets worried and there is nothing he can do for me.

All I want for Christmas is a job paying what I was on last year