Getting back in the game

The last couple of weeks I have been trying to get my head back in the game. Not be such a whinging little cow and make my life mean something to me again.

I am not telling my friends and family about this (aside from those who read this of course) as I don’t want to fail again in their eyes.

Because I don’t have a GPA at the moment with the one HD and 3 fails, I have decided to enrol back into study – I am not going to enrol into a degree at this stage, just a module at a time.  I will try as much as possible to stick with the one university and the one degree course for the modules.

I am currently looking at doing science. I know – another change – however as I said to hubby a few nights ago…I never really considered science seriously because I don’t feel that I am smart enough.  From a chemistry standpoint, I certainly am not. However I loved biology, genetics, and cells in high school  From my recollection I did quite well on those projects. Perhaps my mother will remember better than I do.

I also had quite a few career choices I was interested in that were science based like Vet, Nurse, CSIRO research etc..I remember those desires vividly. Why did I let them fall by the wayside – because I wasn’t good at chemistry? Seems silly to me now.  I think I thought all science was the same and really it isn’t is it?

Anyway, I can do intro science, see how i like it, see what happens.  The modules I looked at all have Melbourne based on campus learning for one week of the study period, mornings only, so I can manage that with no extra money for flights etc.

I want to make my parents proud, I want to make my hubby proud, I want to make myself proud.  I am not a dole bludger welfare mother, so yes I could be proud of that fact, but I want more from my life and I am the only one who is going to be able to get it.

I have not yet enrolled as I still freak out every few days about my cockiness – who in the hell do I think I am?  Me – do science…please, it would be like watching a horse trying to waltz!!  Anyway, I am working through those thoughts 🙂

Next, a blogging friend, who I have been following for a while now, has done me something that has given me such a boost of love and confidence.  There are a few of us in the WoW blogosphere that are in love with Chibis. They are cute little characters drawings of our in game toons.  They are so gorgeous you honestly want to just die.  Think of the cat from Puss in Boots with the big round eyes cute 🙂  Anyway, I have made comment a few times on how wonderful they are…I will get one ordered soon! Well I have a few toons I would love to get a couple done.  In the end she told me last night – she had one ordered for me!!  OMG! I don’t know which of my toons, likely my mage, but honestly I was floored!

It has made me feel so special that she has got one ordered for me. I really can’t put it into words how special.  I must do something to repay the kindness she has shown me.  Once I receive it, I have to make a lovely post, but I can’t formulate words correctly at the moment, I don’t know of anything that I could do which would say how I really feel about it.  It is more than just a chibi to me.


6 thoughts on “Getting back in the game

  1. mjd says:

    Good on you! Have a chat to Sian as well maybe. She did a science degree, and like you, was far more interested in biology than chemistry.

    • dragonray says:

      I didn’t realise she had done science as well….for some reason I have only ever thought of her as a sexy librarian with glasses…and perhaps a whip somewhere. But yes, I shall have to harass her in a few days I think.

      • siandart says:

        Ears….burning…. Yep, my undergrad is basically in Biology (Ecology was officially my major, along with Environmental Studies and History and Philosophy of Science, for a BSci/BA(Hons).)
        Now, the unfortunate thing about biology was that they made me do TWO CHEMISTRY UNITS oh the inhumanity. Also one or two stats units. That was at UniMelb, not sure whether other unis have the same requirements. At least one of my chem lecturers was a non-native English speaker that I could barely interpret as well, which didn’t help.

        As it turned out, Chem continued to be a little bit relevant (things like the C4 cycle for photosynthesis, movement through cell membranes, that sort of thing), and Stats turned out to be ‘what I should have done more of if I wanted a job in Science’, because to get an Environmental _SCIENCE_ major, you needed a bunch of stats.

        I really liked Animal Behaviour and Ecology… didn’t like ‘Vertebrate (and Invertebrate, a diff semester) Structure and Function’ which was all memorising the names of bones and what they were good for and being able to identify things… and dissections… but studying seaweed was much easier with the dissections (I was only a subject or two off being able to major in Botany and if I’d wanted to, I could have chosen Zoology as major but …f that.)

        I’m so excited that you might join me in my science nerdery! I’m sure you’ll kick ass in the intro subject and hopefully get more of an idea about whether you want to pursue it.

        (Also, I can’t wait to see your chibi!)

      • dragonray says:

        I quite like Stats, well I enjoyed that in high school as well, so perhaps wouldn’t be too bad, and although I sucked at chemistry I was starting to get the hang of it by the end of a semester and instead of failing I was getting D’s. LMAO! I figured it would still be relevant to a certain degree, i mean all mixing and playing with body parts is going to require some sort of chemical component, and I could get a tutor of those necessary evils perhaps.

        Ecology and Zoology interest me, so does environmental science – especially given where the world is headed….There is no way I could study bugs though…or spiders…or…bugs!! anything i can squish with my foot would be an issue for me 🙂

        Well my aim is to get my GPA up to apply to MelbUni (the unattainable). I think if i spend some time n ow getting my GPA up by doing intro courses and hopefully continuing with something in that, then at least I know what I am looking for. I think at the moment, I am going to need to do at least 3 more modules in something. I disliked marketing intro, programming intro was ok, but not really what i see myself being able to do for a long time, management was just like stabbing myself in my eyeballs repeatedly!

        The only things I have left are science or some sort of visual art/communication….or become a hooker :p Thanks for the info though, it has given me a lot to think about.

        I can’t wait to get my chibi…I don’t know when I am going to get it!!

  2. Kolibear says:

    So let’s just put this into some perspective from my view point.

    I think you will do well with sciences, i mean i liked them during my schooling and i wasnt the smartest cookie in the pack but if it’s something you like you will pick it up fairly well because you will be motivated to learn it.

    You ran a guild, you raid lead. This takes research, perserverance, communication, relationships.

    You have all the tools to succed in this endevour, and perhaps the module by module approach will give you a much more secure entry into the learning curve.

    I have every faith in you doing this and cant wait to see how you get on as you get lost in learning all the cool new information.

    Take the plunge and have fun doing it, makes most daunting jobs seem a whole lot easier 🙂

    • dragonray says:

      Thanks Koli, and you are right 🙂 Thanks for the support, I think I fixate on any tiny negative thing and then I just can’t seem to get past that. My head is a bit of a fucked up place.

      At the end of the day though, if i do module by mode, I can play with it and see what suits and what doesn’t then, as you say, it will make it better for the curve and for taking on a full load again.

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