Once again I have been doing some soul searching and trying to figure out wtf I want to do with my life.
Hubby was brutual again in his assessment of my stupidly held views and i completely understand his point of view – but i just don’t know how to change them.
The issue is I believe – strongly and without doubt – that a person must have a career goal – (I blame my mother for that :P) and they must attain that goal. Or they could have kids – which is a valid lifestyle choice and become stay at home mums for at least the first few years of the babies lives…again that is my opinion 🙂
However I fit neither of those boxes. I have no career aspirations – other than the be making enough money to cover our bills and allow me to save for a god damn overseas holiday 🙂 I also have no current desire to procreate – that could of course change at any point.
So my “issue” is that I don’t fit into my own stereotype of what I should be – and it causes me so much mental stress. Hubby was trying to convince me that I don’t need a goal – there are many people who don’t have goals or career aspirations and they do just fine.
So after that whole discussion, I realised that I was doing uni courses and things that don’t interest me – I don’t really want to do programming or marketting or business admin – but I was doing them because they inevitably lead to careers – that I don’t want to do. I am going to look into getting back into German studies.
There are a couple of long term diploma’s etc, however I am going to look into some short courses as well see if i can’t get my German back a little faster than that.
I can certainly pick up a career that involves German easily enough and I love German and all things related so this will be a more positive move for me in the long run.
I also think the reason I am not getting a job is because I told myself I would work at Dad’s shop to give me the chance to a)study – having a day off and b) lose weight. I think until I fulfil both of those things – I am nto going anywhere. Sometimes Will power and sending things into the Aether is NOT a good idea unless you are sure you can still to it.