Extra long weekend for me, the parents didn’t open the shop today, and as it is cup day tomorrow I get 4 days off for the price of one.  Got to love that!

I have done the whole halloween decoration thing – well not whole, but a fair bit and I have lollie bags all set for tonight, I am going to get my blue dress and cloak out and put on some heavy witch like makeup and pretend (?) that I am a witch for halloween 🙂 I hope we actually get some kids after all this effort I am going to!!  Would be horrid if no one knocked on the door!!

I have an agency interview on Wednesday in the city – I really hope they have something I can apply for as my parents may be selling their business and I will be jobless and pretty quickly homeless if i can’t find anything.

I attempted to make a chocolate ripple cake on the weekend and it sort of worked, probably not going to be one to add to my favourite recipe lists, but it would probably suffice in an emergency situation.


X factor

Yes, I am an x factor whore at the moment 🙂  I am watching Last nights episode at the moment, and can I just ask the public – why the fuck to 3 wishes keep getting through – they suck!!!!!!!

Young mens society rock the world – and they got out…I just don’t get it!!

Australia – you have bad taste in music!! 😀

Blogging, resume, work and stuff

General update as I have been a busy beaver the last few days.

My new and improved resume is almost done.  I have been taking a beating with it and I am telling myself repeatedly to sell myself.  So be prepared for a shock when you read this – it may actually sound impressive.  If I email it to you – please feel free to ask to see my old one so you can see the obvious improvements…..I am really happy with it so far….and I still have a few things to change – especially the formatting – I am not happy with that – but I am not focused on that as yet.

Work is chugging along, nothing much has changed there, I am hoping to have another job before Xmas – I know it will stuff up any chance of having holidays if I change then, but I would rather be able to move into a new year knowing I am somewhere that I like (fingers crossed hey?!)

I briefly closed own my blogs due to some harassment I was receiving.  I have decided to just ignore the idiots that feel it is ok to say nasty things and call me names.  I have my friends and they will tell me all I need to know, and in the end – if I want to whinge on my own damn web space, I will fucking whinge, and I will rant and I will scream, and laugh and be manic and you know what???  No one can stop me.  I guess, I decided I didn’t really care who reads this space or others, I don’t blog for the public, I make it public as may be someone drops past and makes a connection with something I say, but I am not bucking for readers, or followers.  I am just putting my thoughts out there for people to enjoy or ignore as they see fit.  I lost that somewhere.  I won’t ever make posts public that I have put things into that i wouldn’t actually say to people.

I am sorry for the hassle and the change of mind, but I enjoy blogging and I enjoy having it out there for others to connect to.  So I decided to change the layouts whilst they were private 😀

I have been harassing the hubby to write me this blog post about the changes he has seen and as yet, no luck…he keeps avoiding it…maybe I am not changed like I think I am..wouldn’t that be embarrassing??  hrmmm, might have to ask him about that today 🙂

I am also playing with studio lighting etc at home, but am finding it really difficult to get the hang of my camera – you know…I just kind of suck at the whole remember technical details…I really need to spend some time just trying to improve my recall abilities….

Other than that – my exercise comes and goes as you can tell on my other blog, but I am trying to do something every second day if nothing else….since I am home today, I want to do a workout and a bike ride…here’s hoping!

Anyway, back to my resume now….I have to get this finished so I can start applying for jobs.



Sick of posting about jobs

but honestly it is the thing which is on my mind as it affects so many other areas of my life in a negative way.

I have sent my resume to two good friends to review and look over and advise me about when they have a chance. One of them is like an english grammar and dictionary book walking and talking – no jokes, she is amazing – i think it is because she works in a library – perhaps she soaks it up through the skin like osmosis.  The other owns a small business about improving self for employment (among other things).

They both shot me down, the second one advising me to re-write the entire thing from scratch.  So that will be my weekend tomorrow – redoing my resume from start to finish using both of their criticisms to hopefully improve it somewhat.

I have been sick all week with a viral thing, throat infection and sinus pain – so have been feeling wonderful, but this means I am also now 2 days pay short because I have 8 days sick leave paid and I have only 1 left.  I am so run down though by the travel and depression that I am getting sicker more often again.

I have done no exercise as I have no motivation – I am so depressed about my life and my lack of, well, anything except a happy marriage, that I am feeling really pessimistic about everything.  Yeah I know I have it much better than some people in the world and I am not dealing with death or separation like some of my friends, but that is irrelevant as our own personal pain is always so much greater than what anyone else is going through – whether true or not – that is how we perceive it when we are at the bottom…well it could also just be me 😀

We have to be so careful with money now (again), watch what food we buy, how much petrol we use (hubby got a lift with friends to a BBQ because we couldn’t afford the petrol if I went with him and took our own car – the fact that I am still not 100% was  also a life saver), how much I put on the  bills each week has to be carefully planned out and in the end – I hate having money troubles.  I am not doing well with it.  I am not coping with this.  I am not able to stop crying because all I am worried about it money and how fucked I am making our lives because I can’t seem to get another job that pays more than a fucking apprentice. Yup, I could earn more as a 4th year apprentice…how the mighty have fallen considering I was earning over 55K a year ago – I am now earning less than 25k…and by less – I mean I am under 22k but was trying to make it sound better……

Yeah  that sounds even worse when I type it like that actually……I am going to have more ice-cream……


Was trolling photosig.com and have decided sites like that are almost good but not quite.

While I like the idea of having people offer constructive feedback I am not sure it is possible when you have to upload such small MB size and that everyone is different in ideals, moods etc.

I saw a photo which I thought was very uplifting and someone critiqued it as a sad shot…from that alone – it has made me realise there is no right or wrong way – yes there is more conventional shots or expected imagery, but overall you have to make it express something stunning.

Here is the shot –


Now granted it is a dark and morose shot but that doesn’t convey a sad thing to me, she is stretching her hand out to reach for something greater….well that’s how I saw it originally.

Another example is the shot that I uploaded –


I can see how he would consider it drab and boring in the grassy section, however at that size image the whole thing looks horrid – however it is currently my desktop background and the grass, with the fence and rocks on the beach is the bit I like as it is interesting as gives you a lot to look at….However I think you have to be seeing it the same size as I am for it to show the full effect….

How on earth you are supposed to meld all these things into something and get an awesome picture I don’t know yet….

My most popular pictures on deviantart etc are the ones I am most “meh” about….