Queens in Sydney??

No, I am not talking about the good kind either, with the divine make up and excellent stage presence from the Imperial hotel in Newtown…

I am talking about the drama queens that rear their ugly head in response to someone quite prolific(dare I say, controversial) dying.

I am by no means tyring to incite war, but I wanted to really make my thoughts clear without it being on a public discussion forum such as facebook.

When I first moved to Sydney in 1999, I met Carole within about 2 months.  She was charming and funny and had me enthralled that someone so knowledgable would be so easy to get along with.

I  moved in with her about 6 months later, we joked that we were estranged family members 🙂  We had a very good relationship, we talked about everything and we did everything together, she taught me about budgeting, shopping, love, animals and how to win friends.

I loved her very deeply and was in awe of her.  Anyone who remembers me when I was with Carole would know I would defend her to the end and I would not have a bad word said about her.

Things changed when she met and married Michael.  I remember just before their handfasting she said to me that nothing would ever change between us and I was welcome to stay with her even after he moved in because I was her daughter.  I took her at her word.

I knew something was wrong before I was told to move out, she was distant with me and argumentative and generally not happy to see me.  Michael was forced into asking me to move out because she felt he was in love with me instead of her.

That was the end of our friendship.

We spoke briefly at gatherings if we had to be in the same spot, but knowing I would never get an apology out of her annoyed me and so I was unable to move past that.

The face everyone saw of her at gatherings, events, online whatever was not the face she showed to me and after living with her for almost 2 years I knew she was a very different person.

She should not be sainted now about how lovely she was, perhaps in her later years she changed, but she was not an elder, she was not passive, she was not generous.  She did not do something unless there was something in it for her.  She argued with as many people as she befriended and she was not always easy to handle.

I sure hope she did mellow out in her old age, because I didn’t appreciate being cursed by her for doing nothing more than being in her life, especially when she then kicked out her husband just a few months later.

I remember her as a grand person, who will always have a special place in my heart as she was my first major step into witchcraft. That cannot be undone and will never be forgotten.

The fact that some people are being unable to pass on condolences to her fb wall withouth being called names is utterly ridiculous. Everyone that she was friends with, past or present, have a right to speak, and noone- NOONE has said anything that was downright rude or derogatory about her.

All of those people that have been hurt by her have been very eloquent in balancing both sides of her personality.  The fact that they even wanted to say something at all that wasn’t a big “FUCK YOU BITCH” shows a level of regret and love for a woman who was larger than life.

She was able to wear both sides of her personality proudly, yes she helped disabled kids and she let people live in her home, and she was very skilled with art, but that doesn’t mean her temper and stubborness were not part of her.

Shannon, is being attacked for passing on words of comfort and that is not acceptable, especially when the person attacking is not in any position to do so.  He is as unimpressive as he is self important and I have no time for people like him.   He should learn about respecting others before taking issue with people grieving the loss of a friend – no matter what that level of friendship is.

I was, up until the whole issue, still debating going to the funeral and then read a note from someone who obviously feels they know everything about everything that only “genuine friends” were welcome at the funeral because they didn’t want a circus freak show or a pagan networking event to occur.

I am sorry that my genuine sorrow at her passing was not good enough. I am sorry that you know all about my friendship with her and whether or not it was genuine – albeit brief – I am sorry that I was not given the measurements for what is a genuine friend? Is there a length of time I should be aware of? Are they the ones having sex with her? making her dinner? writing out her BOS? what is your definition of her genuine friends?

***Being friends on FB does not make you friends in real life or “genuine” – so don’t even think about playing that card. ****

I don’t care who you are, most of us, are mature enough to NOT start a shit fight at a funeral (or publicly like others).  We are writing about our loss – NOT SLANDERING- CYBER BULLYING or showing disgusting behaviours as has been written….yet we are the ones likely to cause a drama?

Hands up fuckwits?!?!? Have you been smoking too much nutmeg in ritual that you are now crazy?

Every single person that knew her has a right to attend the funeral and say goodbye, every person has the right to write whatever the fuck they want to about her in her passing, and every single person has the right to remember her how they want to.

We were genuine friends when we were friends. And I am sad for her loss.  I will not be attending her funeral thanks to a dear friend who walks both worlds and to the community for making it obvious that no one would be welcome there.

I hope her next life is better and I hope she learnt from this one that the pain she caused people was unjustified.  She will always be remembered.

4 thoughts on “Queens in Sydney??

  1. Team Oyeniyi says:

    A very thought provoking article, I remmber you telling me about her. I am sorry for your loss.

    • dragonray says:

      Thanks Mum, the wheel turns and life goes on, but just horrible when people create so much drama…people can be so horrible some times…..

      I hope you are feeling better and that your headache doesn’t last too long!

  2. sionnanmaree says:


    Your points about grieving – that was EXACTLY why I passed on those posts onto her wall. I wasn’t entirely 100% comfortable doing it, figuring that someone *may* take issue with it, I thought about it for a few hours even, but when I read those heartfelt words, written in grief, tear-sodden, and I thought ‘how on earth can I justify NOT posting these? Who the hell am I to decide if the world should or shouldn’t hear this?’ – So I did. I took a risk, posted those comments and I own my actions and I stand by them. And you know, those messages weren’t of the ‘Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead!’ variety – they were balanced, beautiful and respectfully honest.

    And as you know, you’ve following the attempted roasting and successfully slanderous comments written about me online. And yes, it *is* cyber bullying – I’ve also heard he’s still banging on about me in forums that I can’t read. *sigh* Initially, I was stunned and upset, but now, I couldn’t give a rats arse about my attacker’s silly, nonsensical behaviour. I am truly perplexed that he didn’t pick a better opportunity to launch an attack, but hey, he’s a knob. And an unintelligent one at that. I expected better from him, even in his attack.

    He’s an immature man who is losing his relevance (and likely his hair too) and the only way he’s going to try and hold on to his own level of self importance is to try and steal power from those who have it. And I has it baby 😉 I should thank him for the validation 😀

    Thank you for your support and for the post. I’d feel suitably outraged as well if I had more of a connection with Carole too. She’d be laughing her tits off at this drama tho – wouldn’t she?

    • dragonray says:

      Yeah this is exactly the kind of send of she would have loved. All drama and hate filled….She was one strange woman!

      I really feel sorry for him that he feels he has to make himself a public laughing stock as well a nuisance….I never did like him from the day I met him and yet people would constantly tell me he was nice and impressive and blah blah blah….sorry the man is a wanker and I doubt will ever fully be someone worth knowing. I have seen him in many many different circumstances and he has never impressed me, not even slightly….I have seen you in less situations (pagan related) and you impress me 🙂

      I am glad you posted them, it is a unique perspective that only those that were truly close to her and part of her whirlwind can appreciate and then write about. To be honest though, Michael’s long post has gotten some of my friends laughing because he marks Carole as the only 3rd in australia….he basically just gave the finger to a fair few Alexandrians who have been 3rds since the 70’s…it just shows the amount of crap she spouted to people, but none of that changes the grief or loss people are experiencing….some more than others…..

      Like I said to you, screw him and everyone taking issue with what you did. I would back you a hundred times, and you know very well right from wrong…you had more support on the pan thread then anything else and hubby is on a few lists but has not mentioned any slagging off about you – I will get him to check them again….he is on Witches workshop as well….just so you keep abreast of anything he is or isn’t saying 🙂 Unless you know already?

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