Too god damn emotional….

I don’t really remember when my temper started getting the better of me, i don’t remember always feeling the wrath boiling under the surface.  I know it happened some time in my teenage years but I am not sure when.

There was a lot that happened in my 18 – 20 years bracket and I wonder if that whole section of time just fills me with an anger that can’t be sated.  I explode at the drop of a hat and with no warning.  I don’t even have time enough to think about my reactions because by the time i realise I have exploded, I can’t do anything to stop it.

Hubby and I had a very good discussion about this the other night, hence my post to twitter that I am going to get it under control, and not two days later I have already failed and lost my temper 4 times today that I can easily remember.  I chided myself afterwards for getting angry, hence why I actually remember the four things.

Each time, I was angry because of other objects or creatures (human included) getting in the way and causing me extra hassle.  I don’t like extra hassle I have decided. I like things to work, straight away with no complications, I like people listening to me and doing what they are told, I like being in control at all times and I like knowing things will be exactly as I left them when I return.

I have to get this under control.

But now – I have to go and do a workout and perhaps get rid of some of that aggression 🙂  I have done 2 hours of uni work – and achieved very little (I have not done any more on my assignment due in 5 days), and now i just feel I need to move my fat arse off this chair!!!

5 thoughts on “Too god damn emotional….

  1. I have the same problem . 75 %of the Miami area is foreign born and all have the jobs in the public sector with whom we must interact. We have third world people with the third world work ethic(there is none)running everything. Their laziness, absurd thinking , and incompetence keeps me enraged and it is quite depleting. Every task become a hassle. I suggest you may not be able to “get this under control” on your own. Some counseling helped me – I cannot control the actions of others. An anger management class helped ( I am now certified to teach it). I take Wellbutrin and Lamictal for anxiety and severe depression. They reduce the intensity and instant response of my reactions which helps. I now find that the only time I get mad is when someone pisses me off(hahaha). There are chemical and physiological conditions which flavor our emotions. I suggest a conference with your doctor. DO NOT LET THEM PUT YOU ON OPIATE BASED MEDS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

  2. mjd says:

    “I like being in control at all times”.
    “I have to get this under control.”

    Some of it you will. Some of it you won’t. Worrying or getting angry about the stuff you can’t control is wasted effort.

    I suspect you know that already. Easy to understand, but harder to put into practice!

  3. Shannon says:

    I highly recommend a good work out for anger issues 🙂

  4. Team Oyeniyi says:

    It wasn’t in your early childhood – you spent most of that alseep! 😆 I remember you being pretty angry at about 13 though!

  5. […] wanted to also mention something about my temper on here in reference to a post I made a while ago I think this was it and I am now dealing with the anger.  Those that know me, know i am a pagan and have a faith […]

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