This post is aimed at someone who will probably not read this, indeed, I would be surprised so I am going to open this up to the public and poor out everything here. It is a long boring post about the one thing that has weighed on my mind as a regret since, well, for over 13 years now. I can’t believe it has even been that long. I am hoping that if I put it out there, perhaps it will give me some sort of closure and perhaps I can finally let it go and not have it in the back of my mind.
If you want to read on please do so, but I warn you – I have embedded some videos and it is a boring waffle!! eheheh
When hubby and I moved to Kyneton, I was packing away CD’s and I found a few that I made up years ago. They were, as you would expect, a collection of favourite songs. There is one particular disc which has songs when my best friend and I were living in Mosman and heading to the metropole every weekend to dance our arses off. Yes the metropole was a dive – even back then, but it was close to home, had great songs and pool tables. It was a nice place to go and dance the night away when we weren’t going to a rave.
I finally imported them into Itunes today and then onto my Iphone, I was listening to it whilst doing the dishes and I have so many memories flooding back to me and making me regret the friendship ending. We always said we would get old together and have kids together and never lose touch and well, as well as I can remember a boy came between us. Yup pathetic as it was, I went mental over a guy. It never seemed the same between us after then (not that I blame her for that) but it stings.
I was thinking about driving around in her dad’s car, music pumping, then driving around in my car, music pumping, spending late nights with Fruche yogurt and drawing pictures, singing together, going to the blue light disco in Essendon, painting anything and everything we could – including drawing all over my jeans, killing cockroaches, that fucking awful waterbed, sydney traffic and my poor car breaking down every three minutes!!, getting into trouble for the code book we had in highschool when a class mate stole it, the chair art project we did with all the wire everywhere, the old television we had to hit with a stick to get the picture back.
So many things are fluttering through my mind, so many nights and places and times and things…I really can’t write them all down, there are just so many snippets…..the song that started it off is :
Schoenberg – Marmion 😀 Can’t go past classic!!
The next one that really hit me hard was:
Bellissima – DJ Quicksilver – I had not heard this song until I moved to Sydney and it was played for me…
Paul Van Dyk – With For an Angel
which then got melded into the next song by a mash up essentially
Found a Lover
and who could forget :
Lost in Love – Legend B
Anyway, I guess with all these memories floating around my head, I missed what our friendship could have grown into and what, as an adult, I wish I still had – a connection to someone that I have known basically all my life.
I regret this loss.