Almost forgot

I have not been playing Wow for however long, and I am suffering withdrawals, I have been having vivid dreams about areas in the game that I would love to just run around in again and I have been missing playing.

I get fiddly at about 7pm as I have for the last 5 years been online to raid and am not doing that anymore, almost feels like I have lost a limb.

I do miss it, but I do enjoy this new found time I have to be doing things both in and out of the house 😀

An update of sorts

Yes I have been offline the last few weeks with so much going on at work and home I have barely had a chance to even breathe.

Here goes:

Work –

I have been applying for other jobs, my countdown is 18 days before I can resign (including weekends) so I am excite that is finally getting closer to single digits.  I have applied for a trainee underwriter job at another institute and am waiting to hear when my interview is sheceduled for – fingers crossed I do well with that.  I hate my current employer more every single day, and in fact another thing happened today that just made me hate the place even more…its a stupid thing to be annoyed about, but it has really hurt me…I have been doing this job for over 5 years and other people in my team (that have been doing it for less than 2 years) are being asked their opinions on what kind of job description we need to have, so they are all referencing me in their meetings, as in the kind of person, yet I am not good enough to discuss it with…FUCK THEM!!!!  That’s all I can say, I am upset…really upset…just another way to make me feel like shite.

Home –

Have been a cleaning junkie…I just spend time every day cleaning so on the weekends I just have to do a couple loads of washing., it is a nice change to spending all of saturday/sunday cleaning and then not having a break of my own.

We have had some friends round and I am cooking heaps of stuff, I am loving all the cooking.  I made another black forest cake on Saturday and it was yummy (of course) I also made some french chicen dish with mushies, wine and cream, was rather nice as well, easy to make as well, so will have that again I am sure 😀

General –

I have watched so many movies lately my head might explode:

Zombieland – Funny as all hell

Fanboys – Funny as well from a star wars lover 😀

Prince caspian – not as good as narnia, but still enjoyable – was almost too similar in some ways.

Finding Neverland – was beautiful, bawled my eyes out, but a lovely movie.

Daybreakers – Awesome movie – set up for a sequel I think 😀

Toy story 3 – so depressing I can’t fucntion when I think about it

Eclispse – Very enjoyable, not as good as I remember the book but it was a nice instalment.

Adventureland – yeah, not my thing to be honest

The Nobel Son – yeah I think I missed the point – had such a promising line up of people

I am sure there are another couple in there, but I can’t remember them at the moment…all in all a good mix to be honest.

So I am going to head off now and attempt to do some more work, with how annoyed I am it probably won’t be much of an effort but no harm in attempting to try right?

ooooh updates :)

Friday night was fun, had drinkies and great conversation and the food turned out ok as well which was a great bonus 🙂

Yesterday we spent it watching movies, we were just too tired to do anything else AND we had heavy raid all day that we didn’t really feel like doing  much except staying home in the warmth 😀  We watched Zombieland, adventureland, daybreakers and whip it.

I am guessing whip it is the movie causing all the roller derby hype at the moment (we know 4 people that have taken it up or are heading into try outs), but was a good movie, so was daybreakers (a couple of sequels incoming for that I think) and Zombieland was a crackup…enjoyed it immensely 😀  Adventureland was a little “meh”….

Today I am not sure we have any plans, perhaps going to the movies if we can find anything on that we want to watch….

day 3 without hubby

Co-dependant, yup…I am…I can admit it 😀

I have tried to do some cleaning tonight, but well, I kind of failed…sort of…I did nowhere near as much as I had hoped, however I did do the shopping for the fortnight and came in under budget so far.

I am meeting up with a good friend tomorrow evening at about 5.30, so depending on how long we hang out I may be home in time to do the mopping/vacuuming as planned.  Even if I am not I may just have to bite the bullet and do it…

Friday night I have my good friends coming over for dinner/drinkies, hence why i want to have mostly everything cleaned, and yes I could be cleaning instead of updating my blog but surely I can have a few minutes rest before I do the dishes and start Mr sheening quickly before bed?

Today at work I realised that some people are just incapable of coming up with realistic methods of handling problems…creating groups within a team to allocate work and function as mini teams is not what I would consider a good move especially considering there are people already employed with that as part of their job description AND who get paid 10k more to do said job….meh whatever…33 days to go….that’s all I need to keep thinking 😀

I am feeling a little depressed tonight to be really honest, I do tend to do that when left to my own devices for a couple of days…I guess I don’t have enough things to distract me from it….

I have done no exercise at all this week, I have just been too tired….

speaking of tired, I may head to bed soon.  Am guessing hubby is still with friends otherwise I would have heard from him. I am driving into the city tomorrow as well so I might have a slight sleep in and leave here at 6.15am, which means I should – in theory – get to work by 7.15am barring traffic issues, I will wait up until 11 though just in case 😀

home on the range

Day 2 of hubby being in Sydney and I am over it already….I am bored, soooo bored..

I also had an ADO today which doesn’t help the boredom as I have been home alone all day doing pretty much SFA.  I baked muffins ( I will update my cooking blog with piccies soon – maybe tomorrow to be honest)  and I did a little cleaning up as I have some friends coming over on Friday night and I am not really going to get much of a chance to tidy up everything I want before they get here on friday evening.

I am finding my anxiety is slightly higher today, and can feel my heart beating really fast in my chest….has been like this all day, am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to jump and scream at any second.  I am trying to keep myself calm, but sometimes it is just a little difficult.  I have been handling my PTSD really well the last few months, I have managed to get a focus point happening and so it is not overly intruding in my life, but when hubby is not around I find it really hard.  Catching the train tomorrow is going to be very difficult and indeed the thought has me almost in tears.  I will have one of my best friends there though, so am considering catching the earlier train home in the afternoon as well (my best friend will be on that one as well).  Might be the safest thing to do as our train gets awfully full and there is generally people standing up.

I found an iphone app that counts down as well, so i plugged in my resignation date and i can track it in seconds/minutes/days/hours etc…lol awesome fun 🙂

Really finding it hard to decide what I want to do in a months time….but in the end I think I will just look for work near here and do uni/tafe at night time…I am not too keen on losing too much money to be honest….not when we have just started getting back on track….I will do more thinking about that 😀

passed over again

Yeah I should be used to it I suppose, but I didn’t get the job.

So back to the drawing board, apparently my feedback was that I did really well, great interview, strong answers and would have been excellent choice, however the person who got it had stronger answers to the questions.

Part of life to be honest, I actually thought I was going to be given the job the way she was spooling me up…

I am devastated to say the least.

My count down is at 36 days now, so in about 2 more weeks I will start looking for work more seriously with the intent to resign on the 9th August.  I don’t want to start looking too early as I don’t want to lose my LSL payout.  So anytime after the 9th August will ensure I get paid out that money as my seperation date from the company will be after my long service leave has been allocated to me.

I was hoping that if I got this job it would spark my interest in this place again, but to not get it again has just really made me depressed.  It is the 4th time I have applied for it and even though I trained the last one, I am still not good enough…

I just have no words to say really…it is just deflated me so much.