so

So my last update was apparently 83 weeks ago, and I just read my last post in August 07…..

I can’t believe it was that long since my world went to shit.

As per my last post, I was raped and the history of that decided to come and fuck with my head for almost 2 years.

My psychologist – let’s call her Emma, advises my responses were all normal reactions and it was not uncommon for women to block this kind of thing out for upwards of even 30 or 40 years. I am glad mine was not that long in the blocking.

Anyway, I am now back at work, still freaked out about leaving the house occasionally and sometimes, just sometimes like today, I feel depressed, alone and very sad that my life can make me feel so alone.

I am not one of those people that surrounds herself with friends and then still feels lonely…I just am lonely – I really feel the need at the moment to talk about things and well since this is a blog this is where it will be for a few months. Since I don’t really feel i have friends that will support me without this turning into something about them….that sounds more harsh than I intended….I don’t mind them talking about themselves or me listening and helping them and sympathizing with them…but where is that in return?

Advertisements

One thought on “so

  1. minxee says:

    *reads, listens and offers hugs*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s