well hello everyone

WOW, it has been so long since i wrote on here that I am amazed my accounts hasnt been wiped….As my renewal draws closer for my paid account i think i will let it slide and return to free account…I have no time or ability to update this anymore….not that i want to miss out on typing out my feelings etc and seeing what everyone else writes – but I am just in a place in my life anymore that I can bebothered opening up to the world.

I have had enough with myself being who I am – I am obviously missing something in my day to day workings as I have not been able to make friends as easily as I had hoped since being back in melbourne – I am just too scared of being hurt again and I dont want to go there….It is not that I feel worthless but more that I just dont feel I have anything to offer people…I have my life and I love it- but I cant seem to meet people who like my life as much as I do – I am too boring or not as fun as others….well whatever….

I had to have emergency surgery a few weeks ago and whilst in the op i stopped breathing again, they had to get me breathing again and it makes me wonder why I am still alive…what is the purpose for me if I am not ready to die yet but not ready to live either…

I have found some wedding dresses so I am very excited about that aspect of my life and this weekend I will be able to see which one i Like more and go from there….

I will type more later and will speak to you all soon!!

I hope you are all well and have been living the high life since my disappearance!! Has anything exciting happened that I should know about?? gimme all the gossip!! :o)



3 thoughts on “well hello everyone

  1. belisteri says:

    some ppl are able to make friends easier than others and im not one of them, but i bet the friends you do make will be GREAT friends, who will understand you and believe and support you 🙂
    yay for wedding!!

  2. minxee says:

    Good to see you on here….but we’v cvered off a few things in emails of late…
    holy crap! what did you have the emergency op for? *hugs*
    always thinking of you!

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