feeling a little sick and tired of life to tell you the truth. I am over not having any set goals and I am unsure how i am supposed to give myself set goals when i do not know what my interests are – or what could i see myslef doing in the future….to be honest i could open a dvd/book store and be quite happy as they are both things that interest me, but i don’t have the money to do it and nor am i likely to get it…..i know most placed need at least 2 years or is it five before ytou can tell if it is really going to work, but well…how are you supposed to get a loan for some of these franchise costs…..

anyway – thats another issue all together…heeheh i wish i was smart enough to come up with a witty thing to sell online and could start an online business – that would be even better….maybe i should start reading tarot for money..i would hate to do that though – what if i gave out the wrong advice ro soemthing…..

ah well…tis all fucked anyway don’t know why i care….i should be happy to stay at mlc and not go anywhere further i mean it is not like i want to have kids or anything, so i don’t have to think about maternity leave…i just don’t want kids…i mean i am sure it would be lovely to have that whole maternal thing kick in, but i am not tolerant enough and nor do i have any interest in looking after someone for that long…maybe i am still to young to think about it seriously….i am sure my parents will kill me when they find out i don’t want kids of my own…..

i am so sick of being controlled by other people expectations…i need to just start living for myself…if i want to become a florist i should become a florist. it should be about what i would do with my life and what i could do with my life not what other people think i should do with it…..right??


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