Why do I bother?
Anyway, started off this week, quite good, was happy – PMTing like mental, but happy, you know how that is.
Hubby and I are looking at taking up karate – just looking at the moment, I am not entirely sure we can afford it, but we are going to do our best to see if we can. So there is a bit of a buzz in the house at the moment.
I have yet to enrol in the science course, i keep telling myself I will and then I chicken out before actually doing it.
We watched girl with the dragon tattoo and there was a very violent rape scene which I knew nothing about. Actually, there was a few other scenes in there which were along the same lines and had a very negative effect on me. Suffice it to say I have been trying to get my head back into a better place since then as I have been plagued with old emotions.
I walked into work today and copped a serve first thing from my father and it has not stopped all morning. I am sick and tired of being the fuck up because my step mother doesn’t leave notes on anything and I am supposed to just know what is going on with every single car. It set me right off – i assume pmt is a huge factor – but the fact i I can’t get another job. I am completely unemployable and I even suck at this. My head is there and I am not going to be able to get it out for a few more days again now.
I have discovered what I think could be an awesome business idea…requires me to up my sewing skills and perhaps get someone in on the start up with me who can sew better than I can. I am ok, not a master by any stretch, but I could certainly hold my own in some areas. I wonder if my mother wants to be a millionaire just buy doing some sewing :p I will happily give her…hrmm…5% of the profits :p LOL
I am currently looking into getting a business started up, initially I can do it from home after normal work and weekends, then when the demand picks up I can just cut down my hours here and increase my hours sewing. There are also some grants etc I can apply for – sexist as they may be – i won’t say no to free money just because I am a woman..no matter how much like a prostitute it makes me feel
It is tinkering in the back of my mind and I will need to make some phone calls tomorrow on my day off and see what I need to do. I mean, my sewing machine is ok, but I will need an overlocker and an embroidery machine probably – for what i want to do, it will likely be needed.
I need to get a business name straight off so I can buy fabric wholesale though and start making stuff to advertise. Be damned if I am going to pay full price for fabric :p
Anyway, there are positives – i just have to focus on those and tell my brain to remember that I am better than an admin assistant in a disorganised panel shop that I have absolutely no control over.