The last couple of weeks I have been trying to get my head back in the game. Not be such a whinging little cow and make my life mean something to me again.
I am not telling my friends and family about this (aside from those who read this of course) as I don’t want to fail again in their eyes.
Because I don’t have a GPA at the moment with the one HD and 3 fails, I have decided to enrol back into study – I am not going to enrol into a degree at this stage, just a module at a time. I will try as much as possible to stick with the one university and the one degree course for the modules.
I am currently looking at doing science. I know – another change – however as I said to hubby a few nights ago…I never really considered science seriously because I don’t feel that I am smart enough. From a chemistry standpoint, I certainly am not. However I loved biology, genetics, and cells in high school From my recollection I did quite well on those projects. Perhaps my mother will remember better than I do.
I also had quite a few career choices I was interested in that were science based like Vet, Nurse, CSIRO research etc..I remember those desires vividly. Why did I let them fall by the wayside – because I wasn’t good at chemistry? Seems silly to me now. I think I thought all science was the same and really it isn’t is it?
Anyway, I can do intro science, see how i like it, see what happens. The modules I looked at all have Melbourne based on campus learning for one week of the study period, mornings only, so I can manage that with no extra money for flights etc.
I want to make my parents proud, I want to make my hubby proud, I want to make myself proud. I am not a dole bludger welfare mother, so yes I could be proud of that fact, but I want more from my life and I am the only one who is going to be able to get it.
I have not yet enrolled as I still freak out every few days about my cockiness – who in the hell do I think I am? Me – do science…please, it would be like watching a horse trying to waltz!! Anyway, I am working through those thoughts
Next, a blogging friend, who I have been following for a while now, has done me something that has given me such a boost of love and confidence. There are a few of us in the WoW blogosphere that are in love with Chibis. They are cute little characters drawings of our in game toons. They are so gorgeous you honestly want to just die. Think of the cat from Puss in Boots with the big round eyes cute Anyway, I have made comment a few times on how wonderful they are…I will get one ordered soon! Well I have a few toons I would love to get a couple done. In the end she told me last night – she had one ordered for me!! OMG! I don’t know which of my toons, likely my mage, but honestly I was floored!
It has made me feel so special that she has got one ordered for me. I really can’t put it into words how special. I must do something to repay the kindness she has shown me. Once I receive it, I have to make a lovely post, but I can’t formulate words correctly at the moment, I don’t know of anything that I could do which would say how I really feel about it. It is more than just a chibi to me.